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this is goodbye

walking up to your house,
from so very far away
sharp-edged rock cut me;
as i picked it up to throw,
straight at your window
that blackest black night
splattered with blood of
my efforts so fruitless
glass smashed; i heard
voices of indignation arise
i screamed to the sky;
but really it was at you
then i turned around
and shuffled onward
with each step taken,
i forgot to remember
with each step taken;
i learned to forget you
forgetting about us and
this life i once led before

Author notes

I dunno... I'm just frustrated. This is what I want to do sort of... I dunno.

Critique my poems; critique my soul. Don't tear either one apart please.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Yemassee gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    "i screamed to the sky;
    but really it was at you"

    I thought that showed good imagery since the person was outside looking up at a window. And of course I know those feeling, at least to my extent and it and it's never much fun.


  • Tzipora
    August 9

    Edit | Reply

    :)

    ahhh.

    theres just some things you read that are just like refreshing. and then after your like man im happy i read that. one because your not the only going through whatever it is. [ selfish, huh ] and two. because someone has found a beautiful way to vent it out.

    - lovely write.


    • Simply Simple
      August 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.

      Thankfully all of this is over for me. Has been for about a month or so now. I was relieved when it was all said and done.


  • technicolor girl
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    I love this <3
    Yuor pretty amazing with emotions and words.


  • Dearly Beloved...
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    It was a little confusing.
    Though the background and colors hlep set the mode and like were you weregoing with it. i think alaberation might hlpe but it is a nice peice you got there


  • Flare the Arcphoenix
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    Good piece, but I think the most important thing I can tell you is that if you ever need to talk, let me take my role as the listening ear. ^_^ I enjoy your company too much to see you go!


    • Simply Simple
      June 22
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks.

      Eh, I ish just a frustrated person right now. All my waiting will be over tomorrow though. So, we'll see then.


  • Borntowriteforever
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    This tore at my heart, I could tell you were frustrated. i believe the hardest part is to move on after you forget them.
    enjoyed reading this, and thank you for sharing


    • Simply Simple
      June 22
      Edit | Reply
      Well... I'm not having to say goodbye yet, but I fear I may have to soon.

      Thank you for your lovely comment.

1 - 10 of 10