We laid there gazing at the stars so bright,
Adorning that entrancing country sky.
Not one thing went how I had planned that night.
I loved your brother then. Yet you and I
Somehow (by God?) lay there beneath the moon.
I saw you in another light and craved
To fall for you but feared it was too soon.
So - strangely pure - that evening I behaved.
Yet to this day I curse my self-control
And miss that sweet time out of time we shared.
That summer night still tugs upon my soul
And prompts the question, What have I impaired?
If I had known all that I know today
I'd not have skipped that dream of love away.
Adorning that entrancing country sky.
Not one thing went how I had planned that night.
I loved your brother then. Yet you and I
Somehow (by God?) lay there beneath the moon.
I saw you in another light and craved
To fall for you but feared it was too soon.
So - strangely pure - that evening I behaved.
Yet to this day I curse my self-control
And miss that sweet time out of time we shared.
That summer night still tugs upon my soul
And prompts the question, What have I impaired?
If I had known all that I know today
I'd not have skipped that dream of love away.
Author notes
An English sonnet aka Shakespearean sonnet. A Sonnet is a poem consisting of 14 lines (iambic pentameter) with a particular rhyming scheme and the specific scheme for the english sonnet is abab cdcd efef gg.
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A contest entry
- Form Poetry --- II by rinzurajan.
700 points, ended November 1, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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thats a nice poem about longing and love...good job with the sonnet...
good luck -
Nice background. I really love stars. I love how they twinkle and how wonderful. You did a nice job with the poem.

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Seems to me ...
that it should read "We laid there" since this is obviously past tense. Otherwise, not bad at all.

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You write so eloquently, so beautiful. This one is particularily touching to me because I've had the same thing happen.... he died, so there's no going back, but sometimes I wonder.... anyway, delightful read, my dear friend. You are a queen of poetry.


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Hope my brief comments never come across as just lip service; there are enough wordsmiths around here to last a lifetime...so who can blame a man for wanting to be different?
You're good. I always get a bittersweet ache when I read poems like these. Makes this place worth visiting.

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This is an absolutely wonderful sonnet (my favorite poetry form). A moving story of lost chances. Romance captured hauntingly in the rhythm of your verses. Your meter and rhyme are worked beautifully. I enjoyed the reading here very much.


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The concept of stepping stones and how you describe your actions as "skipping" some is an interesting connection to your poem. As a country girl myself, I can relate to stargazing at night...it is one of the most beautiful things in the world (or out of this world I should say).
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wow great write hearfelt and the feelings of longing and regret leap off the page like a wet cat from the tub.. thansk for sharing!
xo
Cyb
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Ha ha. Interesting similie. Thanks!
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Excellent
'tis a very fine write, indeed. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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Beautiful! I love line three! How I've been there! I love the comfort you have with the sonnet form. There's nothing forced and the technique is invisible. Best of luck in the contest!


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