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Rick and Ali are fighting over Amanda's balls

It was the 3rd game of the season
And the we pepband kids were getting bored... fast
I was there with alot of my freinds,
Mainly Ali and Rick

Ali knows how to get a whole room high off of pure laughter
And she knew she had too do something quick
Thats when she saw my balls

Yes my big, blue and gold spirit balls
Hanging proudly around my neck
"Amanda's got balls!" she screamed
And that was it!

We had found our portal away from boredom
Rick grabbed my balls and shoved them in his mouth
"i'm sucking on your balls'!
Ali grabbed them, Rick yanked them back
A tug-a-war soon formed

"Rick and Ali are fighting over Amandas balls"!
someone shouted
The balls popped and flew down the bleachers
"You broke Amandas balls"
Ali shouted as Rick ran down the bleachers to grab the balls

The teachers were starting to stare
My mom was inching dangerously close to the band section
I thought the worse was over,
Untill the balls found there way into Alis mouth

Then Rick got them agian
And then Ali
And then rick
They were so obsessed with who had the balls that they couldent even play There music
Luckly i could
At least i thought i could

But right in the middle of Are You Ready For This
I found a bunch of balls in the bell of my saxophone
And Rick laughing his ass off pulling them out
"Ricks trying to grab amandas balls"
Thats when my mom finaly heard

After the game in the car was suprising
She seemed to have forgoten all about the balls
Or so i thought

As we turned into our drive way
My mom locked the doors of the car and gave me a evil smile
"So whos this Rick"?

Author notes

t a f f y r o x

sorry if this went over the line limt
this is my first realy attemt at comedy poetry sooo i am sorry if it wasnt funny!

A contest entry

what do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Havoc Akuchi
    November 4
    Edit | Reply
    xD thats amazing Kin...

  • kokonutz
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    I remember that day and this had me laughing harder than I was then.


  • Heva Feva
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    When I read the title, I though 'uh oh!!'
    I really enjoyed reading this poem, especially the neding- it was very origional and unexpected:

    "As we turned into our drive way
    My mom locked the doors of the car and gave me a evil smile
    "So whos this Rick"? "

    Haha...
    Good luck and thanks for entering my contest. Also, thanks for making me laugh!
    -heva


  • TwiztidMaggot
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    the name of this piece is hilarious! lol. This is really cute and funny. I loved it! It had me rolling on the floor almost laughing so hard! Congratulations on the bronze trophy. I loved it. Keep up your amazing work. Thanks for enetering my contest. Keep up your great work!!!

    TwiztidMaggot


  • StillLovingYou
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    this is histaricle i was laughing so hard..........

    i will come back and do the analize thing later


  • rainbows. gold member
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    I do not really like this. Im sorry, but this just doesn't seem poetic at all to me. Thank-you for entering my contest.


  • redbarchettadrive gold member
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks TR!


  • squirrelgirl
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    I thought it would be something like this. This poem is using dumb, immature humor, which I hate. This poem doesn't do it for me. I don't like it. Sorry. Also, I'm pretty sure you broke one of my rules, so I'm disqualifying you.

  • pathetique.
    June 25

    Edit | Reply
    Can't say his really did it for me, I think that you have a start but the humour wasn't really my style. Still, I can appreciate it, and I'm not knocking you as a poet at all. Just not my thing. Good work and thank you for your entry.
    --Katie.


  • Antebellum
    June 25
    Edit | Reply
    lol definitly made me laugh.
    thanks for entring.
    good luck

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    very good. i thought it was funny. BRAVO!! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!

    • The cliche typo
      June 21
      Edit | Reply

      not done

      sorry!

      • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
        June 21
        Edit | Reply
        I loved this!! the rest of this poem was hilarious!! i love the ending, given that sounds just like my mom when i see the guy i like and she has to rub it into my face. excellent work!

1 - 15 of 15