There is no reason for me to feel this way
There is no reason for nothing to be okay
I am in love with him
Yet somehow my love begins to dim
It hurts to much to think of loosing him
Yet somehow my love still seems to dim
I want all of this second guessing to end
And I want to be with him till the end
There is no doubt about this in my mind
I will love him forever and never will I find
Someone as good and as great as jake
And that’s why one day together we will cut the cake.
what did you think?
Comments
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i agree with star. its very confusing and repetitive. your forcing too much out. just let it flow
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Repetitive...it just feels like you keep saying what you have already said. You need more emotion. Yes we understand that you dont want this to end but why... if it did end what would you feel? And please please please dont force rhyme. It's okay to write free verse. The point (at least in my eyes) of poetry is not to worry about structure... but to get a feeling across. An emotion. I know that sometimes my poetry makes no sense... but I try to at least leave the reader feeling an emotion. All I got after reading this poem was bored. And please do not take any of this the wrong way I am just trying to help. Maybe comparisons would help your poem out. You said about a happy ending right?! What is a happy ending to you?! What do you want to be happening for that happy ending?! I hope this helps thats all that it was supose to do is help.
Starretta
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