that rose you gave me is still sitting on my windowsill.
as my life is fading to grey before my eyes, so is that rose.
one petal,
still holding on;
still red.
the knife that dragged across my skin is still on your basement floor.
as it sits there as a reminder to you, the scars are mine.
one drop of blood,
still wet;
still red.
that dress i wore for you, the one you said you said was sexy?
its crumpled up in my closet, just like the heart you squeezed a little too tight.
one heart,
still beating ;(somehow)
still red.
eyes swollen from crying
lips tired of quivering
nails chipped from self defence
cheeks dusted with a deep blush
i'm trying to figure out
if its from the cold outside
or the idea that your hands
were ever on me
i hope the blood didn't wash off your hands
and your fingers are left tainted
still red
Author notes
Prompt: Title--> Still Red
Sorry if its too repetitive or totally scattered with the ideas.
I hope its dark enough
I prefer slightly more uplifting things usually but its ok to tell stories
and besides. i'm still working on the title prompts 
Think I'm getting better 
Finally!
peace <.out.>
Kat
In a list
A contest entry
- Breathing In The Beauty by Werewolf Avarus.
900 points, ended July 7, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any ways i could have possibly make this any better?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
A dark and emotional write. I like how you kept repeating the title. Excellent piece! Congrats on the HM.
-
-
you like the repeat?
good
i wondered if i over did it...
-
-
Very well done. I love the way the thoughts were broken but still connected to the same event. very interesting write.
Sharon
-
-
thanks so much! i appreciate the feedback
-
-
Thanks for coming back finishing it! lol, sorry it took a bit to comment on and stuff, been busy.
But yes a very lovely write, and no it's not too repeatative, I like it
Best of Luck!
'Wolf
-
-
ya you like it? I'm not so hot with the dark stuff... but I tried :S
I've never really been in a situation like that so its hard to write
thanks again for the HM
Kat -
-
Indeedums
Okays, well for having not experienced anything like that, you got in to the mind frame pretty good you got the toning for the poem and the feel for it just right for that situation.
-
-
yay
I really want to expand my writing abilities so... i try everything (except suicide and dirty pretty. I'd go bonkers!!!)
-
-
-
-
this is different from your usual stuff, but I like it.
It has like, a thrum to it. A beat.
It's good!
-
-
ya... its a contest entry. contest things are all kinds of stuff
its not personal AT ALL. thank goodness. Poor girl. :S
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
