subtracted
We are missing you so much dad
you were the new piece of our life
we loved you with all our heart's
Now feeling so far far apart
absent
are you here within the wind that blows?
are you here on the Moor's in the snow
departed forever or shall we see you again
will I feel your presence and When?
deleted
derived of life from suffering in your pain
it was one of those situations you couldn't gain
failing to keep up with the stress and the judgements
now you will never ever be here to give any presents
existless
another statistic to those files
you gave up the fight before the miles
forlorn of any effort of self belief
you wanted escape and some relief
-- peace --
{you have it now dad
no more fathers' days to be had}
Author notes
three years since we had a fathers day with dad
In a list
A contest entry
- For my Favorites or anyone that has me as a favorite by Ami.
550 points, ended July 7, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - tell me the pain/pleasure of your life. by black-phenoqu.
995 points, ended July 17, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A prewrite contest for my favorites only :] by Ami.
550 points, ended August 28, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just Whatever....Again!! by Beautiful-N-Broken.
700 points, ended October 27, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
yay or nay??
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is truly sad. I did enjoy reading it though. You did a great job with this. Thanks so much for entering it into my contest and giving me the oppurtunity to read it!
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yay.
i would die with my dad if i could, and would kill myself if he died before me. sorry for your pain. the words kind of float of the page, try making them sticky. -
ap name in AN?
I'm sorry for your loss, its incredibly painful, but I felt the poem didn't have quite enough imagery in it. It's not quite what I was looking for, thanks for entering though. I was looking for more prose of free verse writes.
Thanks though! -
this almost made me cry again. I love the ones you do about your dad, they are so true and real. The words really create pictures for me. I especially love "are you here on the Moor's in the snow
departed forever or shall we see you again " that was very sad : ( such a great poem though xxxxxxx
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Thankyou babes... it had me down for weeks... I couldnt go into a shop without seeing fathers day stuff so I avoided it all :'( xxxxxx
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Wow I'm so sorry about your dad
But this was really an Amazing write thank you so much for entering
Good luck
-♥Amy♥
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Ohh thanku for the silver x x
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Like the poem and the way its constructed really made me sad though
*hugs*
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