A climber of ambition perdition

Colonel Pepper from Kathmandu
Was a mountaineer with two left shoes
Climbed so many mountains it made him blue
sometimes the air would get real thin up there
So he took along his teddy bear
the bear was brave and so carefree
Has sangers for breakfast and Two strippers with tea

Every morning after the night before
He'd take the do not Disturb sign off his door
He'd gather his pickaxe and climb another mountain or four
He got so tired he had his servant do the climbing
that's where the poor fella lost his timing
He fell off a cliff ...down, down, down he went
He landed in a cabbage patch, a heavenly ascent

the newspapers wrote up the story I'm not sure why
Stupid climber falls into a cabbage patch from out of the sky
He became famous all over the land
so they gave him a banquet O so grand
there cabbages of every variety,
sweet, savory and so very impropriety
Asked why the cook made so many cabbages
He said some dickhead fell into my cabbage patch

and now I have to eat em all