~
Upon you it simply is;
it does not need, as the Amazon
to the sea, but glides as
the branched willow of your arms.
The threshold of our campfire
and grace of desert dunes,
in summer shines as copper;
a necklace,
not with heat of crimson
but the cool valley
between your shining face
and wandering breasts.
I love your collar;
the vestibule of Mama-Kilya
where my tremulous hand stays
and guides the night swim of lips.
Within nurture, the lunar plexus,
there;
I remain at your
valley, love, to settle
and draw your aquifer;
even if I never ascend
southern mountains or climb
the north face,
this golden valley would
usher angels
and distill my glory of days
in endless rapture.
~
Author notes
Mama-Kilya, (mother moon) moon goddess, Inca (pre-Columbian, South America), is the consort of the sun-god Inti, and is important in the calculation of time and regulating of the Inca festival calendar.
In a list
- Great work by my friends... • next in list
- Badaboom Brilliance • next in list
- A List: When only the best will do (and here they are) • next in list
- Inspired by Pablo Neruda • next in list
- A List: Sensual & Romantic Nonsense (by other AP writers) • next in list
- Anthology for Me (Love and Romance) • next in list
A contest entry
- but i love your [……..] by Nicolette.
4100 points, ended June 30, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best free verse for an anthology: OVWA Winklings # 182 by Lyndon.
2050 points, ended July 29, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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I came to see if you had anything new and
I saw that i hadn't commented on this little beauty,
gosh this is true beauty at its height of glory
shinning like the north sky on a cloudless night, ~sighs~
love and blessings
Rend
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Thank you so much Rend. I've been busy with various things like an anthology of poems for one thing, and haven't been writing much new these days.
Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.
Paul
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this is rather beautiful...
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Thank you. Shall I call you "frowns" or "freckles"?
Paul -
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it changes by the day lol
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brilliant!
loved this, the wording is as smooth as the other side piilow
and the imagery is fantastic! great write my friend...
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Thank you Swangrnv.
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This deserves a feature spot, Paul. Fabulous write.
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Thank you K.
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Ooooh, very nicely written.
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Thank you very much "Mr."
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Oh ummmmm........
This speaks volumes to me.
So very beautiful, soft, passionate, destined even?
Stunningly Yours -
With
All-Ways, ~ Jan ~
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Stirrer of Stardust, thank you for stopping by to read. I'm glad you enjoyed this so much. I enjoyed writing it very much too.
Paul
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They're doing the wave.
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LOL Thank you Jenny for sending your "waving buddies" to me.
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WOW Paul!!!!!
Has the "love bug" gotten a hold of you or what???? This is absolutely beautiful!!! A true poet you are! this just flows and has such an aura of love and adoration with each line of each stanza!!! You are far more advanced in writing poetry than I will ever be!!!! Could it be you had some "Inspiration" for this one???? Just asking!!!! lol...A great write indeed!!! Thanks for sharing Paul!!!!~~~~Toni~~~~
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Aww Thank you Toni. Actually I wrote this in June and had no one particular in mind. I was just imitating Pablo Neruda's style.
Paul
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Absolutely Stunning
This is exquisite from beginning to end. It is well written, flows freely and literallyh reaches into the soul to cradle it and gentle meld it into the energies of the piece. One of the best I've read in a very long time. Take a bow, it's worthy
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Thank you so much Amunet Wolfbane. I'm honored that you would say this. A few months back I discovered Neruda and just couldn't stop reading. This is one of my attempts at mimicking his style while melding it with a bit of my own.
Paul
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Still love this awesome poem
So I have nominated it for a front page spotlight, with the endorsement, "An exceptional piece of erotic poetry that is both romantic and usual in its imagery, demonstrating how the inner being is as attractive as the outer."
This piece remains one of my erotic/romantic favorites.
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Thank you so much Misha. I'll have to give you a frequent reader card or something.
Paul
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You write beautiful poetry ...
and the metaphors created a timbre of their own. Sounds and visuals go well together.
Blessings
Myra
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Thank you Myra. This is truly high praise coming from you. Your are one of those poets whose poetry sings at a place to which I can only pray.
I did enjoy writing this poem, done as one of a couple attempting to emulate Neruda.
Paul
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True poet you are..love it..
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Thank you Prabhudayal. I did feel this one deeply.
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Nice piece of poetry...this was just a pleasure to read!
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Thank you Pat for taking the time to stop by, to read and comment.
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I just had to come back and read this lovely piece again.
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Beautiful, sensual imagery and flow. I enjoyed it!
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Whoa! What a wonderful concept & i can totally feel a sensation of a hand and lips on the skin near my collar!
Paul, i've read this a few times and you might want to consider ending the poem at:
/and guides the night swim of lips./
that would be so powerful to end there, and what a thought and such strength to end on! the rest feels unneeded to me and is a little cliche, with the 'southern mountains'.
...having said that, this is gorgeous and one of your best - really, really beautiful, even if you decide to keep it as is.
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Thank you so much Tara for your input. I'll consider your revision, you are one master of brevity, however this is a piece that specifically emulates Neruda and most of his works seem to be of this length. I do hear you that it is after the line "and guides the night swim of lips" a bit cliche. Neruda often used quite ordinary words/phrases but it's the arrangement of those words/phrases that was extraordinary - a style sometimes difficult to maintain throughout when given the task.
Thanks again for stopping by, reading more than once and commenting.
Paul
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To read this aloud only made it better than it already was. Your words stole my heart.
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Thank you Daizee. You are too kind.
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Paul, this is beyond incredible
Surely, one of your best so far...OMG!!!!
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You're so sweet and supportive Patsy. Pablo is one of the most enjoyable poets to write to. I thoroughly enjoy every minute of writing when I attempt this.
Thank you for stopping by.
Paul
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Beautiful! *blushing*
OMG! Another wonderfully sensual write from such a talented pen. I love the symbolism/imagery you have created with "even if I never ascend / your southern mountains or climb / the north face, / this golden valley ...".
Quite lovely!
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Thank you Misha.
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yes, there is the turn of the phrase the reminds here: i love you as ...i do not love you as... so much a characteristic of a view of life, where pleasure flows from the emotions, linked together; touch, sensation and the inner feelings...this is the essence. Somehow, i have this idea of the poet, that "I know it when I see it..." and here , i see it very well...Thanks ...PK
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This is high praise coming from you. I try my best to do justice to Pablo's poetic genius. Thank you PK for taking the time to stop by, read and comment.
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Glad I pointed you in this direction! Mr. Neruda.
Definitely has a Neruda feel about it, but I knew that it would. There is something so natural about this poem; so free. All the references to beauty, such as seas, willows, dunes, copper, mountains and valleys really create such an effortlessly soft ambience. This, together with the idea of a loved one's collar is beautiful. It's almost like the world exists in that one strip on flesh. Mesmerizing poetry; and from "I remain" to "endless rapture" was particularly breathtaking.
Thank you for entering
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You do Pablo proud in this beautiful and sensuous piece. I must admit the title drew me here and it was well worth reading. You have shown the beauty of submission and the appreciation of the dominate with love and class.
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you Amera. Pablo has such style expressed through the simplest of words. That's why I love imitating him. He collects ordinary flowers and makes extraordinary arrangements.
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I knew you would be here with something, Paul, and something special... you're almost as big a fan Neruda than what I am
I liked the Inca-touches here and the way you've applied the concept, weaved it so seamlessly into your poem. There is something very shiny about this poem; somehow it made me think of gold - a glow, something moon-like. I also liked the way the first line links with the title and the way the first line seems to "hang" there - forcing the reader to pause and dwell on that single thought for a while. So many wonderful phrases and metaphors in this poem that I would have to copy the entire poem if I were to name my favourites. lol. the phrase "threshold of our campfire" is but one - beautiful. Truly a gorgeous piece of writing, rich and eloquent. Thank you for this lovely entry.
~ Nicolette
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Another lovely poem drifts from your pen, Poet. Neruda would be greatly pleased by this gifting of song. Good luck in Nic & Allyce's contest, Paul. 
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Thank you so much Wanda, for taking the time to read and comment so nicely.
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This is your best, in my opinion.
Eloquent and beautifully penned...
Paul, this work is breathtaking.
Love, Lane
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Lane, I'm honored that you would say that.
Especially from you.
Neruda is one of my absolute favorites. You are too.
~~~
Paul
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