You're my emptiness and anger-
My frustration: come undone.
You are no one, but you're
Everything.
Webs of lies I've spun.
And your hands are falling in my dreams
Not stopping-
Just rerun.
I knew it'd never happen
Way before I had begun.
You're a metaphor,
A simile.
Temptation in the worst.
An escape from too full heartache
A silent,
Tasteless verse.
She is close and I am crowded
You're an unforgiving curse
With your honesty,
Autonomy,
Your passion to coerce.
And it doesn't touch a single thing-
Your world will stay the same.
But your laugh may be the only thing
Inspiring me to change.
And in the life I've made for myself
- So heavy and
Estranged
It's nice to have a breather.
Its nice to play a game.
Author notes
I don't like this.
But it's the first thing I've written in... months.
Kinda scrambled, but a little about me and a little about this book I'm reading called The Fall about a man that's in a difficult mariage.
Let Me Know
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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hmmm. i like it. its interesting. you have an odd voice when you write. its like a differnt person than the one you show the world.
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Is that supposed to be a compliment or not?
You said "hmmm. you like it" but you also said I have an odd and different voice.
Let me know.
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that was awesome, great write keep it up
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I don't think I can fully wrap my mind around it. I almost feel like I was blind folded, spun around, and am now trying to hit the piñata (meaning). Well, no that's not really what I mean. Anyway, this is really... I dont' even know the right word, but put simply, Great!
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I'm glad you liked it.
I think you liked it, right? -
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Yes, I loved it.
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WoW
I can't say enough about this one! I love so much of it. Just to point out a couple things, "You are no one, but you're
Everything." = great.... "You're a metaphor,
A simile. Temptation in the worst....etc." = amazing. The whole thing is just so skillful and relatable. Truly impressive work. I really enjoyed this one thank you!
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That is really good, I love the last two lines they are really powerful. Great write keep up the good work.
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great!
I love how it's mixed up, because somehow it all ties in together.
Amazing job.
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really good
i like poetry that mixed up..
i write a lot of it myself
it says alot in fewer words..
this a great write.. i love it..
keep it up!
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Really?
Because sometimes I feel like I use way too many words. -
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yes. really
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why do you not like that? it's brilliant!!!
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this is awesome!! i really like it!!
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this piece is quite rare, I enjoyed reading it, it shows creativity especially getting inspired after reading a book, I've done that alot, Very unique and It shows raw talent, great job!!! and you should be proud
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no need to not like it, it comes out beautifully and as if it was written with extreme care, i like it you should be proud of it
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this was really good, i liked it a lot. you should continue to write i really like reading your poems.....my favorite part was: You're a metaphor,
A simile.
Temptation in the worst.
An escape from too full heartache
A silent,
Tasteless verse.
She is close and I'm crowded
You're an unforgiving curse
With your honesty,
Autonomy,
Your passion to coerce.
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I havn't been able to come up with anything I think is decent in months either, but I really like this. For someone who's had writters block, you did a great job fighting it. This really is a great write, I enjoyed reading.
hope all is well
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I disagree, I really like this... maybe it's because I've never read any of your other poems but I definately enjoyed reading this. It has a nice flow to it and I like your words. The ending is definately the best part
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this is nice, especially the last two lines.
a left-align would make it easier to read, though.
i love the imagery in the stanza above the last two lines, also.
never stop writing. <33 -
It's true that it's not the best poem, but it has a lot of interesting ideas and could really turn into something awe-inspiring with a bit of revision. I absolutely loved the ending, how well the second-to-last stanza flowed, and the last two lines. I like the part "You are a metaphor...", since it kind of states how the person is a poem unwritten... unique. Creative write. Shya
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Interesting
It was alittle scrambeled I agree...but it draws you in and grabs your attention. I really want to know how you got the idea and the story behind it, if there is one. Very interesting.
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I truly enjoyed reading this.It kept me attention all the way through.It does not feel like you stopped writing at all.Thank you for writting this and I look forward to reading more.
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i liked it
it was kinda scrambeled ya......... but rlly good.
i coodnt take my eyes off the screen. very awesome
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