"Cancer is a word, not a sentence", my mother said once again quoting j.d.
[Sigh] " yes mom"
" Ashley, you need to understand that cancer doesn't mean death,
its just merely a word. If you have faith you will survive."
[Sigh] "yes mom"
...
Deep down inside I just want to tell her.
I don't care!
That i cant feel no more.
That, no im not scared...im just tired.
Thats its not the actual cancer thats killing me,
but everything im missing out on.
That I have no faith.
...
sadness, boredom, guilt overtakes me...
..."Ashley, what are you thinking about?"
"life, Mom"
"you know your going to be ok, right?"
[Sigh] "yes mom"
Honestly, i just wonder if she will.
Time... it just keeps passing by.
Just stop it, please.
Author notes
its a tricky poem. it can be looked at from both points of view of who has cancer.
well lets see who you think it is.
A contest entry
- Waiting by just sam.
650 points, ended June 24, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
idont know if its as strong as it could be...ahh, honest opinions: )
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
this can actually be paralleling life of just debilatation or labeling
there is poetry in the spurts of tippy toe that has to stomp an opinion if exhausted as if by empty enthusiasm sarcasm or sourness can creep in. yet realistically one should be upheld as the first assertion keeps echoing sureness, however without way it can get weird.
but that line is a snap from predicament back to person to face yet, as all cancer isn't resulting locked so could recourse be in change; as elderly (and many) aren't even automatically ill but if depleted gets looked at maybe helped, healing in direct tenderness than shops then doctors without pause or soaking presses as to ripen instruction until useful beyond situation of just sweating it out sorta.
thus I see a plateau felt pronounced in "That I have no faith" like not knowing ultimate I told you so.
snippets are pieced together at :
"you know your going to be ok, right?"
[Sigh] "yes mom"
Honestly, i just wonder if she will."
and the straightness of that coming out made it interesting what intensified it from frenzy of normalcy and survival.
It was a drawer for a reader,
pre...
-
-
thankyou.
-
-
This is near perfection, my family is touched with this right now, so it went deep,the way that you have penned this is so clever, the open endedness is mindblowing, and the raw gut emotion, the ambience of sadness and apathy, omg I just love this
bravo
T
-
-
- thank you for the comment, im grateful that it meant so much to you.
i wish you the best
-
-
Caner may not be a sentance but the feelings that accompany the illness are. I have never known any one with this illness or any other terminal desease save love but here i can start to appreciate what it must be like for the family. Time will always go faster the less time you have left.
What you have is amazing, it could be better, maybe adjust a sentance here or there but its heart felt and thats all that matters. -
-
- thank you, i really appreciated your comment.
-
-
I really like your style, and this poem is really great. I love the opening line, and these lines capture a ton of feeling and emotion:
Thats its not the actual cancer thats killing me,
but everything im missing out on.
That I have no faith.
They also offer the viewpoint of someone who recognizes that there is more to life than simply going through the motions every day until we die, but there is so much more as far as purpose. There seems to be a hint of looking for God but that may just be me putting my own ideas into the poem (I've recently been researching and studying various texts and proofs for the existence of God.)
edit: I was not 100% sure who was sick in the poem (is this poem true?) but the feeling I got was that it was the author.
-
-
well yes it was the other, it was ashley.
thank you for your comments they are very appreciated.
-
-
this was really great and cleverly written, awesome jobb
-
-
thanks
-
-
Clear to me
The humanity of Ashley comes across in:
"Honestly, i just wonder if she will."
I think the opening is most intriguing:"Cancer is a word, not a sentence..."
This piece gives cause to pause and question the "deadly" thoughts we possess about this dreaded disease. Our thoughts make our reality.
I love the Mother's approach as mom, mentor and best friend who's not only trying to perk up Ashley, she's trying to allay her fears of losing her beloved daughter.
Meaningful piece of penning, poet.
Wishing you the best
till next time
stay
liquid
-
-
thank you for your comment
-
-
Wow, I like this a lot! The "sigh" in before the quotes adds so much impact and really conveys the frustration and the will to go along and ease the mother's angst and yet give off the message that the author does not need this type of fussing. As well, your perspective on the important things in life being missed outweighing the condition itself is a great message. I love poems that teach. Well done.
-
-
Thank you very much
-
-
this is a really good write, you have managed to allow the reader to see from both angles, the conversation aspect was good as it draws you in and impacts on the imagination. optimsism and helplessness combined... very emotional and interesting write..
-
-
Thank you for the comment
-
-
I loved this, Your talent and words speak to me so far not a poem i don't like, I'm really interested you in you,... You fascinate me
-
-
haha, thanks.
-
-
This is a deeply emotional write. While reading it I felt as if I was there while the conversation was taking place. Very good job. Best of luck in the contest.
-
-
thank you, happy you enjoyed it.
-
-
Whoa. That was powerful.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
-
-
thank you
-
-
ah wonderful
-
-
thankyou
-
-
I like this, I think its cool all the way.
-
-
thanks: )
-
-
Interesting poem (just passing by and had a peep
). Very moving. That 3rd from last line must be a red herring. good luck
David
-
-
come by anytime and take a peep please. thanks for the comment: )
-
-
It was a bit confusing but I think I got it. So Ashely has cancer and she doesnt really know if she will make it, but her mom still believes she does? Aw thats sad. >.
-
-
yea thanks, im gonna try to add that in there.
-
-
confused
Is it you or your mother who has cancer? The poem did not really make that clear. Other than that, I thought it was very sentimental and sweet. I hope the cancer goes away...
-
-
take it either ways. its basically like two poems in one. either way it makes sense.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
