Dusk
The crimson sun sits astride the horizon,
A softly glowing coal
Sending up dark clouds of smoke
Blackness cloaks the luminous sky,
Telling a foreboding tale of things to come
Tipping back my head, I sip the air,
The taste of electricity metallic on my tongue
A cool breeze runs its fingers through my hair
I can feel in my fingertips the approaching storm,
Can hear the soft rumble in the distance
Yet I stand,
Drawing in the last fleeting rays of light
Before the darkness comes
A contest entry
- Waiting by just sam.
650 points, ended June 24, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
This has some lovely imagery in it
I really like the way it all comes together at the ending I think from a constructive criticism point of view you might like to look at adding some more punctuation, and you don't need to capitalise the first letter of every line if it isn't the start of a new sentence - just some thoughts I enjoyed this poem!
Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!
Polly
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