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asking for arrival

waiting
pacing
like a lion in a cage
send another prayer skyward
why is it a minute takes an hour
a second takes a minute
when will i know the answer to my question
can't hear the crying through the doors
anxious and out of my element
i so desperately want to hold my niece
and be part of my family
at last a sign
tears of joy all around
my niece has come into this world
beautiful and alive and crying her small lungs out
my question answered, my prayers heeded
i sit later rocking her
commiting details to memory
for this day is priceless, and no one can tell me different

Author notes

for my sister Jen and my niece Lizze, with love for both always

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • I am so speechless on this one. I am unsure what to put. But this was very good THanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.


  • dutch2lips gold member
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    omg so sweet, thank you for sharing


  • Flyergirl
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    took a line out, more i thought about it, didn't like it either


  • just sam
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    First of all well done in my contest, this is a beautiful piece that deserved recognition. Usually I dislike a lack of punctuation in a piece but you have used it to your advantage.
    Only a little piece of criticism
    'anybody who says my stepsister's daughter isn't my niece would have been decked'
    This line sems to come out of nowhere and I am unsure whether it was portraying the randomness of thought in such a piece, or whether it just doesn't fit.
    Other than that well done again.

  • It's a lovely piece, and it fits in whith what we've been talking about pretty well.

1 - 5 of 5