aanika;
once when i was six years old, i remember watching a storm and wishing lightning would strike me. just so that i could feel like i was connected to something for a split-second.
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i used to believe i had a voice. i thought i knew what i wanted, that i had a purpose. i wore mismatched socks and talked in cryptic riddles so that only i would understand what i was saying.
last wednesday reuel asked me what my favorite color was.
words like 'amaranthine', and 'azure', and 'alabaster' flitted through my head.
then i hung up the phone because i didn't know.
--
you know how people buy paints and paper and they leave the paper blank because they're too scared to make a mark? I'm not like that. i had paints and paper once. i scrubbed my paintbrush and painted so hard that i was left with an awkward hole in the middle. sometimes i look back, and think that the untouched sheet might have looked better.
at least then i wouldn't have known what was on the other side.
--
i wish i could write poetry about boys whose chartreuse eyes glitter and sparkle. boys whose slender fingers could catch the wind and teach fire to live inside glass bottles.
but when the last of many passions first flickers and then fades, i love someone who isn't there. i have to make up the texture of his skin and the sound of his voice. i have to pretend that my lace jacket fits like a wedding train.
life so blatantly stares me in the face, yet i continue to twirl in a whirlwind of strawberry clouds, my head thrown to the sky, dancing on invisible feet.
--
aanika,
i'm burning and drowning at the same time. flying and falling.
because sometimes, rainbows bleed.
sometimes, paper gets soggy and warps.
sometimes, angels lie.
sometimes, lightning strikes the same place twice.
and sometimes, it rains in the wrong direction.
i have the tears.
all i need is a reason to cry.
--
we both have indian names. somehow i feel like that must count for something.
but you are the girl who has a past. the girl who can spin words into magic and light into supernovae.
you are the girl that knows where she came from.
i am the girl who recolors her past in a hundred shades of white because she doesn't like the stains of black and brown. but when you crayon white over black, you just get a sort of dingy gray.
i am the girl who looks up a dictionary to find out what supernovae are.
--
but aanika, sometimes i think maybe you could inspire me. i think maybe beneath all the tangled thoughts, behind the avenues leading to nowhere, is someone who could maybe be more than just a dark-eyed girl with cotton candy dreams.
......
......
purple.
purple is my favorite color.
love,
neha.
Author notes
c i r q u e
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s o l e i l
this is the reply.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5566305#
A contest entry
- Letters (But not to me) by pinksnowboots.
480 points, ended September 17, 77 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want you to love me; [inviteonly] by ladybug..
900 points, ended October 26, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please help me make this better!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Gorgeous! I love it.
once when i was six years old, i remember watching a storm and wishing lightning would strike me. just so that i could feel like i was connected to something for a split-second.
--
i used to believe i had a voice. i thought i knew what i wanted, that i had a purpose. i wore mismatched socks and talked in cryptic riddles so that only i would understand what i was saying.
last wednesday reuel asked me what my favorite color was.
words like 'amaranthine', and 'azure', and 'alabaster' flitted through my head.
then i hung up the phone because i didn't know.
Geez, this is amazing!
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I don't think I've ever read anything more beautiful.
This is....wow, amazing isn't even the word.
I love this so much.
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ahhhh, breathtaking.
i am the girl who recolors her past in a hundred shades of white because she doesn't like the stains of black and brown. but when you crayon white over black, you just get a sort of dingy gray.
-your a beautiful writer. beyond beautiful.
i enjoyed that write so much. -
This is perfect.
Good luck in the contest.
I loved this to no extent. <3 -
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thank you so much
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WOW!! this is just brilliant. I loved it.
"once when i was six years old, i remember watching a storm and wishing lightning would strike me. just so that i could feel like i was connected to something for a split-second."
This thing just penetrates me somewhere deep.. no more words for you... just awesome!
-Neha
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'i am the girl who recolors her past in a hundred shades of white'
wow. that's just brilliant. i love your imagery, and the emotion in this is so powerful and relateable. absolutely gorgeous.
one of my favorite bits is how in the beginning, you mention not knowing your favorite color, and then at the end you say it's purple. to me that really says a lot about closure and therapy and even beauty.
anyway, great poem. best of luck. :]
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so great.
well. i lose.
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you do not! your entry is incredible!
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haha well thank you
this is incredible too.
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i wish i could write poetry about boys whose chartreuse eyes glitter and sparkle. boys whose slender fingers could catch the wind and teach fire to live inside glass bottles.
*intense love*
this eclipses my entry by far.
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that opening stanza is amazing. the truth and honesty behind the metaphor is brilliant. i wish i could pluck each shard of jealousy i got from reading that and show you so you could see how much i love it.
then i hung up the phone because i didn't know.
-fabulous way to end the section. i love the small hint of defiance and annoyance in that line.
boys whose slender fingers could catch the wind and teach fire to live inside glass bottles.
-i think you just did.
incredible.
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absolutely brilliant. i'm having so much fun with this contest because i'm getting to know everyone better, and i'm really looking forward to replying to the top eight letters.
this is amazing.
<3 -
I looked at this poem out of boredom, because you commented on mine, and I'm so so glad I did! This was beautiful, truly made me shiver. The second address to aanika, the "burning and drowning" bit, that was where it really heated up and made my heart do tumble turns. Thank you for being so talented =]
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