Twisted beneath flesh and bone.
It burns and eats away,
Pulling away everything you are, like tiny ubiquitous leeches.
Diamonds they tell you,
It coruscates like diamonds and is worth more then gold.
It makes you feel free, as if you can fly,
But they don't tell you how hard the ground is when your wings deliquesce.
You writhe and thrash,
Fighting as it is poured into you.
The stories from your childhood,
Long since forgotten.
You scream with silence,
Feeling it sink into your skin.
They've forsaken you to this,
Their smiles eagerly await.
Corrosive and sweet,
It is the best type of poison.
It seeps into your skin,
Acidic notions.
Acid Love.
Author notes
Used: Word prompt, Acidic Love.
Judging: I would love personal opinion. But rubric is fine for me. 
Words: I've used a lot of words I never knew before in this, simply because my best friend asked me too. ;3 She wanted something with large words and wanted me to enter it into a contest, so here it is. Hope you like it, hun! (I have no idea if I used ubiquitous right at all, so can someone please correct me on that?)
~I v y - H o pe
A contest entry
- Freedom Rounds by Writing0Freedom.
400 points, ended June 22, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Nyar. =^.^= Comments?
Comments
-
I like this, it could be a lot stronger in many places and I love how diamonds connect to acidic love. I love your use of coruscates and deliquesce, its just really really beautiful. I think this could be tightened and in some places needs more imagery and emotion but its has strong points. I want you in my next round because I think you do have potential, and I think that a different style could help bring it out.
WritingFree
-
-
Thank-you. I'm honored.
And I'll try my best to do better next time.
-


