I am what's left of the part
of you,
that hides away from the world
.
I can barely come up with words,
the night stifles my eyes
that start to close,
words still closing in on me
& I must
I must move on
.
I can only write sad poems these days,
even the poem you promised to write with me, finally
I bet that would have been sad too, like all the others
cause you're just as sad as me.
You said you don't want to write a poem with me now
cause I keep doing this to you
.
What is it that I do to you?
cause I never thought I ever got through to you,
that's why I feel so worthless around you
.
I know I'm losing,
I lose everytime-
your mind games
.
You can't stand anyone by your side,
you always tell me "I told you over and over I don't want help..."
well I'm done helping
.
We still have that in common; we always will,
the emptiness,
I think I'll die alone...
Author notes
Qwerty
A contest entry
- Anything goes by Dryad Enya.
650 points, ended June 26, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best Prewrite! by FluorescentFixation.
1200 points, ended August 4, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This seem much like a therapy poem. Let the word that are for description free. Try not to let them be constrained by conventional communication. Not bad, just not fantastic. Let the poet run rampant.
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This could use some puncutation like commas -i was running out of breath- but other wise this is amazing, it's a very good poem written by someone whoes ever growing in their litreture skills.
Good luck,
Gorecki
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thankyouu soo much, again.
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"I know I'm losing
I lose everytime-
your mind games"
this and the very end is my favorite part. It's a really sad poem though, but it's a message that i can relate to. If it is what I've taken it to mean. You try to help where help is refused, and now all that's left is the bitterness they have for the rest of the world, and your loneliness because you gave it all for them. Either way, it's a good poem, good work
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Thank-you very much. (:
& yeah you hit it right on.
the bitterness keeps things this way...
but we're trying to get past it.
he simply keeps himself in solitary (my friend) and it leads me to do the same sometimes.
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