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Running Away

. .
 
 
 
 
 

Cushioned caves, soft moonlight.
To bend with the trees
as twisted shadows race.

Bad dreams writhe,
suspended in a hard-shelled cocoon.
Two brothers make plans to run away.

Surface rage is easily spent,
frustration wells in eyes that look
like the father's
as mother's distant voice-
chants her subliminal warnings.

Another bad memory busts through their door,
the moonlight is asked to wait outside.
Another childhood plan hangs in suspension.
 
 
I can't wait to see what crawls from the cocoon!
(because of...)
One more night in the cage...


 
 
 
 
. . 

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • DreamGirl91
    August 9
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!

    Great Imagery!! I love it! you are amazing. Much better than me thats for sure!


    • redbarchettadrive gold member
      August 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much DG! I even think I've gotten a lil better since I had written this! Metamorphosis, you know.


  • Mango Memories gold member
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    my oh my.

    The images and wording of this just SLAPS me silly!

    Well done! this just was perfect!


  • DancingRed
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem, but I'm not so keen on the line 'Two brothers make plans to run away.' It feels too ordinary, like you're telling us things instead of showing us. Thanks for entering!

  • Raven of Iniquity
    June 28

    Edit | Reply

    Wow...

    This was very lovely and almost twisted in a sad sort of way. Your last stanza was my favorite. You're very good at writing and I enjoy your work. Well done.

    ~Raven


  • Tzipora
    June 26

    Edit | Reply

    i liked

    Another bad memory busts through their door,
    the moonlight is asked to wait outside.
    Another childhood plan hangs in suspension.

    - this was beautiful. the first line. i really liked it. and the ending was beautifully done. yes great use of wording.


  • Jesann gold member
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful wording.
    "the moonlight is asked to wait outside"
    Unique thoughts, very creative.
    I really enjoyed the read.


  • Horcrux.Breathing
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    woaw...
    Cushioned caves, soft moonlight.
    To bend with the trees
    as twisted shadows race.

    Bad dreams writhe,
    suspended in a hard-shelled cocoon.
    Two brothers make plans to run away


    Beautiful my brother


  • doyouloveit
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    your style of writing here is quite unique and i do like it and if you wrote this with no prompt your brain is intensely intrigueing wonderful write

    • redbarchettadrive gold member
      June 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much! I wrote this in 15 minutes, back to back with the other I had written tonight.
      I used a word pool I had made. I used two or three classic rock songs and this is what my mind latched onto.
      If you love music, you could check out my group I had begun a few months ago, join if you'd like, I'd (We'd) love to have you. Share your world with us! (Link's down below) *Remember: It's called "Classic Rock Poetry". Drop by sometime and see what we're about and whatnot, kick the tires, watch a member's favorite music video, or just to see what's up. Create your own Scrambled Jamz! It's fun!!! Here is the link if you'd like to see the place.
      http://allpoetry.com/group/show/Classic%20Rock%20Poetry


  • maralisa silver member
    June 20
    Edit | Reply
    aw a wonderful write thank you for sharingmaralisa

1 - 12 of 12