Dear a a n i k a
The other day, my best friend told me to smile and I promised him that I would, as soon as I got some sleep. But secretly, I think I've forgotten how.
It's the crying that's keeping me awake; everyone around me is dying, and what's worse is that they're all going like goldfish in a freezer, silently letting themselves get slower and slower and finally still. No one's fighting it, and I can't figure out why I'm the only one with curse words and fists and tears. I think that maybe when I was born, I took my first gulp of air wrong, like when you swallow water down the wrong way, and that maybe I've been breathing backwards ever since. That would explain why my heart is so small- it has no blood to pump and there's no oxygen to keep it afloat like a shiny helium balloon.
Anyway, I've been fighting these scarecrows as best I can on my own, sometimes getting close enough to dance with them, and sometimes forgetting about them completely. But it doesn't change the fact that every person I've ever loved will one day be compost. And I'll be the worm crawling through the garbage, sobbing and swallowing dirt as I try to piece everyone back together like broken eggshells and fractured skull bones. But I'm not a doctor, I'm not even a real person, and I don't have the skills or the time or the stitches to fix the gashes in my bleeding-heart world and finally,
permanently,
stop this
death rattle screeching in my eyes.
xx the girl who used to feel
Author notes
Written 20.6.09
C a t S l a s h
A contest entry
- write me a letter, yeah. by aanika.
1998 points, ended July 5, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow. i am so in love with this. you're incredibly talented. i'm so glad i chose to read this tonight.
you're going on my favorites right now, ok? ok.
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this is really good. i love:
'I can't figure out why I'm the only one with curse words and fists and tears.'
this is amazingly relateable, and your imagery is gorgeous. it carries a powerful punch with a few simple lines. great job and good luck.
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this is so good. i loved the bit about the scarecrows and the skiny helium balloons thing was brilliant.
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i love this. your imagery is so simple, yet so effective. the first time i read this, i honestly felt like it was something i could have written. i can relate so fucking much it's insane.
thank you so much for entering.
<3 -
This is incredibly beautiful, it makes me want to read it over & over again.
I think that maybe when I was born, I took my first gulp of air wrong, like when you swallow water down the wrong way, and that maybe I've been breathing backwards ever since.
♥
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'goldfish in a freezer'
that does it for me. that is one of the most original, uncomfortable, emotion-packed comparisons i have ever read.
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