my mind is split in two
between good and evil
one side with god
the other with the devil
even though i want one side to win
in the end its out of my control
because of the things i have done
the darkness has taken its toll
however i know what both sides are like
i know what they have to offer
one side leads to a path of joy
while the other will make me suffer
so why don't i just pick the good side
i will tell you why
cause darkness is like a poison
that will never die
so which side will win this battle
only time will tell
but one thing remains the same
i am going to hell
how bad is it?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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hey I like the way you say this story. split personality sort of thing, I liked that part.
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bravo!times3
so why don't i just pick the good side
i will tell you why
cause darkness is like a poison
that will never seem to die
- this part was very interesting... i read this poem like three times it sounded better everytime.
great ending as well.
you are going to to hell.lol.justkidding.
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this is very well spoken i must say!It shows you that sometimes darkness is good,but it only leads to horrible things.even though i am not christian,this is one of my favorite poems to read!
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I love it!!!
you really show potential and the poem makes it shine!!
I especially love this
'so which side will win this battle
only time will tell
but one thing remains the same
i am definitely going to hell'
Its amazing, keep up the good work, and may the words in your soul make the ink bleed into our reality!!! =D
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this is really good bro. i feel like this a lot. cant wait till u post more, this is good
lewkiss
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I actually laughed at the end....haha! But, all in all, the structure of the poem is quite nicely penned. I liked the rhyming, it never felt forced or cheezy. The meter is off in life, two lines, but thats it. Impressive! A really good first poem to post here on AP. The lines I liked the best were "cause darkness is like a poison, that will never ever die" I agree, it's addicting, and more than often we take comfort in that kind of thing, even though the type and degree or darkness varies from person to person, it's prescence is ever constant. I may change the word "ever" in that line to "seem" becaue never ever seems rheotical. Great job Brett. This was awesome, definitely some deep throughs and give ya something to walk away with!!
xx
mylee
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