Lost

The pain I feel word's cannot explain.
The hatred within my heart has left me paralyzed while studying my own consciousness to determine of my thoughts are a pare of lies.
I'd give anything to gaze into a gewine set of eyes. To express the guilt that rest upon my chest and the fact that every step I take i see the Shadow of death.
God, I am lost walking beside fear and lust baffled  I am in the middle of Armageddon as I stand in no mans land with a weapon sharper than any tow edged sword. So LORD where are thou? for I am thee sheep that went astray and I am lost like a soul that didn't go peaceful, lost like the children of isreal inflicting pain upon myself to see if this life is real, lost like the addict that takes the pill and not for the thrill. I am no longer possessed or knowN, but ruined and destroyed both physically and mentally i am denied, unable to find the way, not appreciated or understood and am LOST