with the red cloth parted at the bottom,
I view the world through a pane of painted glass
hearing all the church bells that are ringing,
ringing with the song of last night's dance
with the red cloth parted in the center,
with the ashes slowly falling from my finger
I turn to view the smoke that hangs,
hanging, in the chill of past December.
with the red cloth draped about her figure,
I view her eyes in an intoxicated trance
longing for my gaze to mirror her's,
weaving passion in a counterfeiting glance
with the red cloth tattered on my shoulders,
I bathe the world in a haze of bitter ash
I hear no more the sweet bells that were ringing,
ringing with the song of new love's dance
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The repetition of the red cloth suggest its importance. Magari religious. I do not believe the entirety of the write was that. More pertaining to love. Nicely written.
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Well Done
You have used your words well. Good imagery and emotion. Rhyme and meter are flawless. My favorite lines are "I hear no more the sweet bells that were ringing, ringing with the song of new love's dance" Thanks for sharing
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Well Done!
Great meter and rhyme. Also dark and foreboding. Well written!
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i loved the repetition in this piece,
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aah! this is so sad, and beautiful.. and special
its just heart breaking to read as well, i love your use of repetition as well, gives a great effect and makes rising interest for me.well done
hopefully more people view this and you get heaps more praise and comments because this is fantastic!
-Lady Michaella-
xx -_- xx
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