Paradox

“Describe yourself in a word”
Rubbing his chin while he talks
Were the words of the doctor,
To which I answered “paradox”

“Go on, please explain”
He constantly asks for more
“Well its like I’m flying in the sky
While I’m laying on the floor”

He said he did not understand
I told him I didn’t think he would
But that my heart was soft as clay
Yet harder than any wood

Confusion made itself known,
While he looked at me and said
“Son I see you’re hurting bad
A soul heavier than lead”

“So bear with my knowledge
Or lack of, in this case
And just explain the sadness
Etched into your face”

I said “The answer I gave before
Will clear it up the most
I guess its just tough feeling
Like an infant and a ghost”

“Its miserable being this way
Opposing your own self
It’s like you are the doctor
And the patient seeking health”

The doctor looked at me,
Dumbfounded by each word
He had asked for a solution
But a problem was all he heard

“I need something concrete,”
He said to me with care
“And I realize there is more to you
Than what I see sitting there”

Fury rushed inside me
With serenity on its back
There is an abundance of emotion
Yet all of which I lack

I felt my heart thumping
And with agony it teemed
And with out even knowing
I rose to my feet and screamed:

“Doctor, I’m breaking down!
The pains too much to tell,
But just when I think I'm in heaven
I find out that I'm in hell!"