And in that moment I knew that there was more to this than the storybooks said;
that perfection was attained, not given. and kneeling, I swore corroded oaths to whatever gods would hear me. my ribcage was my altar and desperation my sacrifice; hardcore agnosticism died when I found my own goddess in the fire of my flaws.
And I looked up into the heavens— I knew I could find the answer there amid shattered stars, somewhere away from self-imposed asphyxiation when an illness was my cure. I knew I needed closure somehow, respite from all my insecurities & imperfections. Desperate waists gave way to hollowed eyes and piercing hipbones as I searched for some trace of the shimmering paths and demoness eyes of my disease [I needed it]. Finding thinspiration in the stars and vomiting supernovas and perfect explosions, I promise you that now I’ve found a way to cope with all my problems.
You looked into the sunspots in my eyes and thought I was lost amid dreams of double zeroes and poetry that didn’t rhyme. I saw love&anger, concern&pity, collide in your eyes, crashing with thoughts of whether I was worth saving. I said goodbye to you under summer suns and walked away without crying under moonlit skies.
In the postapocalyptic silence of liberation and desperation, I was alone with my images of decimated perfection.
Author notes
I'm recovered from my eating disorder, but still remember those times very well. And I seem to find myself thinking about them more lately :/
In a list
A contest entry
- i'm sorry for bleeding on your white carpet; by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended June 25, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme,Lyrics, Prose, Dirty Pretty. by Antebellum.
800 points, ended September 24, 291 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prose. by sighingflosser..
500 points, ended September 28, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wow.
this is absoultly amazing.
And I looked up into the heavens— I knew I could find the answer there, somewhere away from self-imposed asphyxiation when an illness was my cure.
gosh this is amazing.
thanks for entering.
best of luck. -
wow.
*speechless. -
Powerful and real, flailing desperation into a chasm of darkness.
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your words moved me. my eyes burned. i'm on here tonight searching for some inspiration and here i found it. well said, well done.
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HeartBreakHeroine-x
very good poem i laughed
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amazing. i loved it so much!!!!!!!
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Stunning.
What else can I say?
It always is. -
aww
this is really sad but so sweet im amazed this is one of the best poems i have read
im addin u 2my favs
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This was stunning.
I loved it so much.
So so much.
You're an amazing poet.
Seriously.
Great imagery, great everything.
Perfect.
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