Detached Remembrance

Well of course I remember! How can I not? I loved him...
My remembrance; however, is a kind of detached remembrance. The memories carry no pain, no sadness, no longing for the past..

Like scenes from a film; one by one , they pass before me...and I do not cringe. I do not wish for my past to be my present. I do not feel anything at all.

I know I can't forget. I shouldn't forget. For to forget would mean that I am nothing, because he was everything. To forget everything is to be...nothing.

He WAS everything...he no longer is. But what is he then? I do not know. All I know is that, for now, me remembering him without pain is enough. This way, I can live without him, with my memory as a mirror of the nice moments...not as a prison for my emotions,nor an asylum where i am condemned to the constant torture of his face...I will go there no more.