Why is it that when something precious like a heart breaks, no one but you can tell your heart is breaking? Hell, up to recently I didn't know something so shattered and messed up could actually still hurt. It's so cliché but it's like little shards of glass that dig a little deeper when I read their words.
Why is it then that when I try and makes things right, they blow up and yell at me? I hate this because I would give ANYTHING to be back with them and THAT happy again. But I just don't have the strength for it. The last of it died long ago and now as I cry I feel weak and trampled on and very alone in this fucked up world.
I no longer believe in that damned burning desire called true love. There can be no such thing. Instead I will pick up my shredded heart and give it to the someone, anyone who promises never to leave. To care for me and have me as his. I think I've found that person, I can't give them actual love but what I can give them is close. Who knows, maybe I'll feel real again someday. Because if I could forget the ghosts of my past, I could love this one.
For all those who've experienced gut wrenching, suicidal thinking, drown your sorrows with anything you can find, be it a drink, a smoke, a toke, or a bed, crazy fucked up thing called L OVE, this one is for you. I got something for the heartache but it ain't no cure.
Author notes
I really just throw this one to the Goddess, because from where I am, I got nothing.
FUKKITY FUKKITY FUCK IT!
Comments
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Your position isn't necessarily different from a lot people. I know alot with that problem. But it isn't a problem that is going to fix yourself. Strive to be whole and Strive to look down the road and know you'll be able to love again. There is nothing worse then the feeling of being alone and feel yourself being along for a long time after. You shouldn't handicapp yourself like that. Sure give yourself to your weakness. Smoke, drink, do whatever. But that won't solve a goddamned thing. What it will solve is getting you something to be addicted about instead of love.
Never look down, look up. That is where the moon and sun are.
-Lishus
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