At the seat of my heart the words flow
why Not at my Euphoria ?
I want to write happy
I want to be cherrie and help heal
maybe it is by loss I learn most
maybe it it were always sunny I could not offer you hope ?
more often pain
It is the core from the last few years I Can flow
Low seems to expel juices of feeling ,
I canlaugh and I do smile
I bugs me I hit writers block when I show you joy..
Am I flat, dead ?
I see my friend she busts with excitement
I so wish I could wear audibly Joy
I hold it all iside till I write
i ask do you relate ?
or are you free?
words flow meaning rhetoric
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Oh I really liked this one! I feel alone in a world of happy people so often, they are so visibley happy and I... well I am trying...lol
-
I like your poem, it really provokes a lot of thought. In the first lines you state that you want to write happy. Unfortunately you can't always do that, sometimes it is the other way around. You can't write happy, but it makes you happy when you write. That's therapy. To answer your question, yes I CAN relate to this.
Now for some constructive criticism. There were several places with grammatical mistakes such as the use of it it. Did you mean "maybe if it were?" The only other things I noticed were the use of the lower case “i” and in line 10 you may want to separate canlaugh. I didn’t mean to be hard on you because we all make mistakes.
Gentle caresses my friend,
Ron
-
-
thank you
no probs thank you sometimes i am shocking at grammar and typos ..i love to learn so i like constructive suggestions thank you
-
-
Brilliant poem have you crafted here, dear poet! All poets can relate to it, in some way. I always associated poets with grief and pain they wanna get rid of by writing.
Great wright!
Nela
-
-
thank you
thank you so much for that . very kind
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
