My Time I Bide

A temporary distraction
A passing fancy
A place holder
To occupy my time

I tell myself
To just enjoy
The day to day
But the insufficiency is glaring

Different pages
Different volumes
Different books
Clearly on dissimilar paths

So what am I doing
Spending my time
With a man
With whom there is no future?

Allowing my life
To become more
Interwoven and entangled
Letting more feelings develop

When I know
That I know
That I know
That it’s going nowhere

Living in ambivalence
And ambiguity
Not letting go
Yet looking for more

Knowing that what I want
He won’t provide
So my time I bide
Until the right one comes along