I've got a guilty conscience weighing down my shoulders
I swear it will be the death of me
And I must be living in Washington instead of Colorado
Since it's been raning here every day
Gray weather inspires gray memories of that damn past life I only wish I could forget
It's making me sick to my stomach
It's keeping me up at night
I watched a funnel cloud swirl its way into existance
While my cigarette burned down to the filter as I stood on my porch
A passing thought: if this shit touches down, lift me up off the ground and take me up to see god so I can ask him what the hell is wrong with me.
Why is everyone I loved forced to live in my mind in the past tense?
Why do we always seem to be doomed to go our separate ways?
In the present I always find myself alone again
Why fucking WHY?
Someone once told me 'life can't get any worse, it can only get better'.
I'd like to officially say that he was wrong
But hey, you can't blame him for trying
But I can't stop myself now as I drag one foot in front of the other
I've left hearts in ruin, friendships bruised and broken, and a couple don't even know what's coming
What you don't know can't hurt you right?
For years now I've been begging for someone to shoot me down
Stop me in my tracks
But no one's done it yet
If you knew what you were getting yourself into
You'd save yourself and me the trouble
And pull that trigger now
So I'll sit here and wallow in that damn familiar loneliness
That I damn well fucking deserve
So feel better because I'm miserable too
And will always regret what could've, should've, would've been
I swear all your faces are at the bottom of every liquor bottle I polish off in your memories
And now I'm rather drunk
Don't doubt it
Maybe in two years all those damn world ending prophecies will come true and this can finally come to an end
Because one bad apple spoils the whole bunch
And god only knows why he's still letting me ruin the whole barrel
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