Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Growing Up

 

In certain measure, I took pleasure

And clearly slipped away

I really tried with dreams I tied

With paper dolls and clay

 

I’d make a vow and I’d allow

My mind to climb the stairs

And I’d caress the paper dress

That my creation wears

 

For my pretense was so intense

I knew it was sincere

And I’d acquire my heart’s desire

With thoughts so crystal clear

 

But I can tell, I’ve said farewell

To dolls and all my toys

For in the light of my twilight

I’ve traded them for boys

 

 

iiv

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Author notes

Word Bank used:
pleasure, clearly, tied, allow, caress, pretense, intense, sincere, desire, farewell, light, twilight

Triquatrain:
The Triquatrain form was created by Robert L. Huntsman. It is a quatrain poem in tri-rhyme with a specific rhyming pattern Lines 1 and 3 have internal rhyme whereas lines 2 and 4 do not.

Form source: shadowpoetry.com

In a list

Comments:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • awannabepoet
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    Boys are the new found toys, you can see this in any place of social gathering, hey you know if they don't seem to have the right kind of mind in thier silly little heads they will still be remembered for the cement they carry in thier pants.

    It seems to me this world is falling, falling down and nothing is to be reborn. Let the ashes burn, forget the Phoenix it is just another myth of the days when men were men and women were always playing the distress game.

    I like it, I like it so!

  • Purrsanthema
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    Your mind is like a combination between an elf's and a Swiss watch. I have no idea how you can take a word bank and create something so natural and lovely!


  • Desire gold member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply

    LOL~

    Oooooooooooh this one had me chuckling and Loved that last line- Gosh it is late here but I could not help but inhale this Triquatrain
    My fingers are like moooooooooore fuel
    but my Mind is like...Need Amera's brain cells to function Oy! -staggers in comment box-
    Loving this one Beautiful!!!

    Tight rhyme and message - Oh Yeah
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Best wishes in all You do
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


    • Amera gold member
      June 22
      Edit | Reply
      Aww... thanks, I thought it was good too. It lost the contest.


      • Desire gold member
        June 22
        Edit | Reply
        Ooooooooooooh I am sorry
        Beautiful piece and could not help but chuckle hard

  • piccola silver member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is perfect to my way of thinking. Great use of the bank and the form is wonderful, so is the rhyme.


  • just mercedes gold member
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    You are so clever! This is a lovely gem that illustrates your strong talent for rhyme and form, but also adds the intimate wistfulness seen when life changes, and loved things are put aside for greater things.

  • Topnotchsy
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. The form is beautiful, and I was shocked to see that the poem developed out of a word bank, the ideas were so tight and the rhyme and rhythm of the piece flawless.


  • HisDirtyLiLPoet
    June 20

    Edit | Reply

    *smiles @ you*

    You're a breath of fresh air and reading your work is like the best medicine offered... Thank you for being you A!!


  • pranj
    June 18

    Edit | Reply

    AWESOME

    I dont know how you can use the words in the word bank to fit your ideas so well, maybe its just a gift from god... and you use it like you have that gift bestowed upon you a thousand times! An awesome poem... on reading this poem I remember a hindi song I had heard, it has the same theme! (well that song wasnt so amazingly written off-course!)


  • Wandika gold member
    June 18
    Edit | Reply

    Just perfect!

    Loved the form and rhyme in this one. Will have to try one myself. Very playful.

    Jim


  • DesolatELifE
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    very nice. Tis a shame the way things change ones we reach a certai age. Everything felt simpler back then.

    Aquire and desire (and admire, etc.) are smelly words. Some people pronounce them with two syllables, some with three. It varies with me because I recently told someonme I read desire with three, but I read it nicely with two here. I read acquire with three at first, though, which is stupid considering I read desire with two. In this poem, it works just as well reading them both with three as it does reading them both with two. That's nice. I choose three, then.


  • Titus gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    To the unchartered waters of the less appreciated, most will see four verses of writing, insightfully it is wonderful. Am I regretting entering, wow, I got competition. But 1, I've learnt a new form and 2, I loved that last stanza, terrific as always. Tony


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    I can see that the form has been claimed by RLH, Sis, but essentially it is the same form as Lewis Carroll's "The Queen of Hearts" rhyme (though LC did not lay the lines out like this). It is a very effective form for comic verse, or for making short, punchy points. Your poem here is beautifully executed, and it is a wonderful way to use a word-bank, deliberately finding rhyming words, and making the end result so short and to-the-point. Truck-loads of kudos!

    • Amera gold member
      June 18
      Edit | Reply
      Darn! I looked it up. I remember reading that poem too. It was long before I started writing poetry. Thank you!


  • Pure Thought silver member
    June 18
    Edit | Reply
    I can't write as well as you. I can't comment as good as others, but damn I love your poetry.


  • PerVirtuous
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    This in no way looks like a poem with a word bank. I am absolutely amazed. This is a delightfully upbeat and fun form. It is perfect for someone with such a keen sense of rhyme and form. I don't think you could write a bad poem in this form if you made a sincere effort. You are just too good at this. The way you set up the AHA! Factor in the last line is masterful. Makes me wish I was a boy...


  • nordicsky silver member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    I don’t really care whether it’s a triquatrain or not. I read it aloud five times and it sounded silky smooth. I like the idea of internal rhymes they seem to sound less contrived than rhymes at the end of lines. I shall try to incorporate some internal rhymes into my poetry.

    Once I started to think about the words, the imagery, and the ideas started to flow. Small girls at play seem to have marvellous concentration and their imaginations far out strip the narrow confines of reality; their bedrooms and their toys can be anything they want them to be. Perhaps, this grown up girl yearns for a time when her imagination could make all things possible.

    That’s what I saw in your poem.

    Love, Peter

    • Amera gold member
      June 17
      Edit | Reply
      Oh Peter! When you say that you "really" read a poem; you really do. No greater a complement to a poet is when another fine poet digests a poem so completely. Thank you.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Well, this was most lovely but of course I prefer women?

    In fact- I am going to do one on you me Cubbie as I have the "perfect photo!

    lova ya

    Dad


  • melphleg gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Clever. I found it to be amusing to read. Going for childhood dreams and play to reality. Once again your form and rhyme are wonderful.


  • HaleyMary
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    excellent use of the word bank, Amera. Best of luck to you in the contest.


    • Amera gold member
      June 17
      Edit | Reply
      Yay! You changed your name back. I like it!

      • HaleyMary
        June 17
        Edit | Reply
        yeah, cool eh? This is the first time I've changed my name on this site actually. I kind of like going by my channel name. It feels more me.

  • Papagallo
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Great use of the word bank. Good luck in the contest.
    Papagallo


  • Denerica
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful...traded innocence for a time of growing up. Excellent write as always. Blessings.


  • Black Narcissus gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Extremely well written. It would be a great poem anyway, but with the added difficulty of a word bank it's simply stunning.


    • Amera gold member
      June 17
      Edit | Reply
      It's such an honor to have one of the site's best poets leave a comment like this. Thank you!


  • NorthernNoodle
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous, I love the rythm and he wrap-up verse. I really like this poem.

  • Purrsanthema
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    I love that last line and how it ties up the whole! You always write such beautiful last lines! The are always so strong that they give the whole poem a magnificent whump of conclusion. Forgive me for the vocabulary, I'm in an odd mood today! I love how beautifully you've always, and here, used internal rhyme! Good luck in the contest!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    O my you have created the perfect poem. I wish I could create such works of art.

    Joe


  • cricketjeff gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Deliciously rhymed and perfect for you, but now you're married shouldn't there be something about staying home and knitting?

    Wonderful fun!

    Jeff

  • BurnTheFire
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    wow. i like the flow and beat of this poem. it is awesome and i like the title. i luv the last stanza, but this poem was all around amazing... good job!


  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    well done poet! this follows you through your learning curve and allows for the reader to attach themselves in very human kind of way...keep that ink flowing!! good luck with the contest entry! peace and light always in ALL ways, kp

1 - 37 of 37