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Your Pain

My lips swollen and bruised
from yours  pressed against them
give me your pain
fingertip pressure bruises
dot my wrists hips and ankles
give me your pain
my ass cheeks crimson and tingling
from your repeated slaps
give me your pain
scarlet crescent bite marks
pock my neck and breasts
give me your pain
my hair clenched tightly
in both your fists
give me your pain
carpet burn stinging
my elbows and knees
give me your pain
pulling me back hard
as you thrust yourself into me
give me your pain
slamming deep into me

like a battering ram
give me your pain
you flip me over
and pull me almost upside down
give me your pain
and bury the entire length of your cock
with one long deep stroke
give me your pain
pounding into my cervix
with every thrust
give me your pain
arching myself into you
my hips bucking
give me your pain
your hands squeezing my breast
and pinching my nipples
give me your pain
I take them off my breast and guide them to encircle my neck
my helplessness excites you
give me your pain
my legs uncontrollably tremble
your thrusts become savage and urgent
give me your pain
a brief thunder passes between us
you explode deep inside me
give me your pain
my body trembles and bucks
my moans become
silent screams
lost in the pleasure
I take when you
give me your pain

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • blueyez
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    I like the repition!


  • Li snuffles
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    I can relate to this "give me your pain" the repitition is really amazing.. This write is written so well...

    "helplessness" describes the whole poem.. maybe that the others underneath did not get

    lisa..xx


  • Odd Thomas
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    very visual and exciting, but you wrote the title once(as the title) so you didnt have to put it between every 3 or 4 lines, it just got too repetive and i felt dissapointed that i had to read "give me your pain" over and over becuase it kept interupting hte story like a bad commercial, thank you for enting the contest and good luck


    • Sumdumho
      July 1
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you.

      I am going to do a re-write on this. I appreciate your input!

  • this is really good. i love the form, bacuse it portrays a sense of urgency. amazing work

    • Sumdumho
      June 30
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you!

      I have tried to break away from the repetitve lines and just can't do it!

1 - 6 of 6