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still

He thinks that life is born in spinning air
to spirit away, shape diminishing,

that breath is essence; blood is unaware
of truest forms of living, frailly bare,

but strong in dry and sunset finishing.
Outside, the man called night, refinishing

the drops of God’s sky [warm, weathering]
stops him midair, life halting in display,

begs him live in life’s moment [severing
the air and vicious, lively tethering].

The feline, eyes slowing in strong array,
joins the solemn dust and thinks for day.

Author notes

Inspired by: http://www.nickbrandt.com/Image.cfm?nK=7617&i=85036
Quite a beautiful picture =]

A contest entry

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Comments

  • poets whisper silver member
    August 6
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting use of rhyme ... nice vocabulary too. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Frodofan silver member
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice description. It did bother me that you used brackets where parenthese should be though. Brackets are for things that have been omitted, so they are incorrectly used here.

    But very nice otherwise. I think you captured the feeling of the picture in the tone of this. Thanks for entering.

    • Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment =] You set up a wonderful contest and the pictures were beautiful. Animals are glorious.

      I have to disagree with your opinion on my ‘incorrectly-used’ brackets, though. Poetry doesn't always have to follow the rules of punctuation and grammar like prose does; sometimes things are chosen stylistically, to add to the look or the feel of the poem. I meant to separate some of the words from the rest of the poem, and I felt the harsh structure of the bracket worked better than the rounded parenthesis for a poem about a wild cat.

      That's just my opinion though, please don't take offense.

      I'm very glad you created that contest, it inspired me immensely =]