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Thanatos

Missing image
Stark florescent light reflects brightly,
upon stainless steel surfaces.
A shell of hollow remains lay
stripped of all human dignity.
Waiting patiently for the Masters hands.

Fingers work in precise efficiency.
Silver scalpels of steel, a cut here, one there.
Pink fluidity infuses the dead with life as
the soul flows steadily down death's drain.
The pungent smell hangs oppressive.

Morbid features richly altered.
Limbs bent in poised pliancy.
Handled with detached respect,
the Master creates with haunting beauty.
Painting a portrait of death into life.

In-animate in mock slumber they lie,
within surrounding folds of exquisite silk
Hollow sentiments fall on deaf ears,
for the hands of death are never idle.
In the shadows stand, the Master in black.

Blacker…blackest…in the shadows stands,
the sculptor of the dead.


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Author notes

THANATOS: ((Greek mythology) the Greek personification of death; son of Nyx)

Photo: http://rookery2.viary.com/storagev12/1159000/1159485_0a49_625x1000.jpg

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • 21 / 25

    Great sense of imagery and alliteration here, but it tends to become too much at times. I also think that you are telling the reader too much. If you'd shorten the sentences to just using the images, it would make more of an impact to the reader's vision in his/her mind.

     

    Also, in this phrase: "down deaths drain,"  If you meant 'deaths' to be possessive, then it shouldbe "death's". You always have to remember small punctuation like that. Just by doing those few things would make this a stronger read. Remember, these are just mere suggestions and not meant to take offense. Thanks for entering!


  • Jazzlyn
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    wow very dark and i could see the picture you painted
    great job and good luck in the contest

  • Wow. I truly liked this. It was beautifully written, but sick and twisted in the same sense. You did an excellent job with the imagery and you really did a great job telling in the poem what exactly this job does, but you didn't come right out and say it. I like that. Great job and thanks so much for entering. ((:

    Good Luck!

  • arnal
    June 22
    Edit | Reply
    Some nice imagery and you put the reader in suspense with this tale,enjoyed keep stepping

  • Amazing. Such a beautiful writing for something even as dark. Lovely job.

  • amazing
    and it s weird bc i am in training to become a mortician

  • Awesome work...

    Deep, dark & atmospheric with the most wonderful imagery that thrills, chills & makes for a compelling read...
    Keep up the good work....
    Well done!!!


  • PastelMoons gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    Dark and Creepy
    I love it!
    Thanks for sharing

    ~Pastel


  • darkyinsoul
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Excelllent imagery
    Dark and enthralling throughout
    Fav...
    In the shadows stand, the Master in black.
    Blacker…blackest…in the shadows stands,

    the sculptor of the dead.

    Wow... the many shade of your words
    alawys speak or scream
    Well done!!
    Thanks for the share
    Darky


  • MoonlitRoses
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It's so dark and creepy and eerie. Very great write.

    • Thanks...LOL.. I like creepy. My sister was 6 years older than I and she pretty much raised me on Dracula, Wolf man, Mummy, Frankenstein, Phantom of the Opera, The Haunting...I like a good ghost story but no slasher type movies...


  • The Drifter
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    A dark and precise write. Have you been in the chamber of death to watch him work? It seems so. Evev his hands can't death's progress for long-black, blacker, even blacker still as death creeps along.


  • Miss Macabre silver member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Love it. Love the sculptor! This piece is so dark and fun to read. Best of luck to you!

1 - 16 of 16