A bag of dreams, a crystal heart
Tucked away inside
Clutched to bossom, tightly held
A ragged gypsy's pride
Arden, Arden, beg your pardon
May I steal your heart
Foolish suitor, ye may not
Now hasten to depart
Inept wooers, try my spirit
Leave me bittersweet
Ply my soul, then deceive me
Passion incomplete
A bag of dreams, a crystal heart
Mine to have and hold
Peace I find, desiring more
A gypsy's pot of gold
Author notes
Written March 18th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- catch me if ye can by arden.
350 points, ended March 20, 2004, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
this was the one i like best so far in this group
-
Amazing still yet.
I still think that your work should have been found in some classic book of historic poets. the metre is pitch perfect and the hook is so sweet and direct yet carves a story around the point.
One note: on the word bossom, did you mean bosom?
Cheers! -
unique
Oh wow...this was very unique!! All of us would so love to have a gpsy's part of gold eh? Congrats on your win in this piece!
Kari -
In the box I leave a note,
to tell you of which I do emote.
The words you weave do leave me weak,
of which this Crystal heart you speak.
Thanks,
AtVaR -
hiya grampa,
wow this was sure one lovely piece
Ilove the rhyming in this one
Di
-
hehe..turns out you won gold...great job!!!!
-
i love the rhyme scheme here and your delicate word-choice. this is an all-around great write--i hope you placed in this contest..i shall go forth and check to find out.
great write, i LOVED it! -
A marvelous write. I think you have touched on a piece of who Arden is...wonderfully done.
Sam
-
lol at galfalfa. for what 'tis worth, i am fresh out of tamborines.
arden -
Always a pleasure to read one of your pieces! Watch out for them raggle taggle Gypsies though! They'll wait til your not looking and bonk you over the head with a tamborine!
As per your usual written like a pro - well done! -
lol...
'Arden, Arden, beg your pardon
May I steal your heart
Foolish suitor, ye may not
Now hasten to depart'
och, ye pegged me well! damn all thoes foolish sutiors, and they wonder why 'tis i roam still. 'twill take more then flower and baubles to keep my herart... provided i gi' it. 'tis really enchanting what ye can come up wi', wi' just a fre loosly woven detalis here and there.
i must thank ye for entering this one, really brightened my day... gave mi a hearty chuckle it did. so now, i am of firey temper and scare away all mi sutiors. lol... i wonder when i will begin to resemble a dragon or some other mystical creature that i believe in so much?
arden
-
I like this very much. (Change bitter, sweet to bittersweet). Flow is a bit off in the line after bittersweet.
Good write though...very enjoyable!
M -
wow great poem keep on writing!!! bye!!!
-
I like it
Conforms with the contest parameters nicely, tight rhyme, even flow, sweet sentiment 
All my best in your contest with this great write
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
1 old applause
