Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

fuzzy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 - a bitter taste sat on the back of my tongue
   and painted a fuzzy layer over my taste buds -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

memories laid like mustard fields
on the tip of my mind

they bloomed a sickly yellow
as you pronounced your last
                                 syllable

and as the door closed
retching saliva began
ripping at the golden grass

 

 

 

wishing it green again

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

prompt: mustard

In a list

A contest entry

.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • crivanea silver member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    wow..what a take on the prompt..congrat on the gold..i see y it deserves it...wonderful write!..i love the flow..the rhythm..and the depth of where this take me..creative..thoughtful...goodvjob


  • goatee98
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very weird but also very good poem.
    i like the line ripping at the golden grass
    i puts an image in your head
    i can see how you won the gold trophy



  • PinkeyPromise
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    this si a good poem but not ur best...i still like it!

    ~Divine~


  • etoile
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    the last four lines are brilliant. they are such a powerful ending to this piece. I really like the use of the word 'retching' I feel like I should use it more often in poetry haha.
    one thing I would change is the word 'fuzzy' to me it just doesn't seem very poetic. I do like the image though. amazing take on the prompt.

    goodluck and thanks for entering


  • Tqop
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds yummy. ☺☻

1 - 6 of 6