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Anxiety

i.

You lurked in the darkness,
hidden amongst distress and misconception.
Naivety was my blindfold,
keeping your destructive acts concealed.




ii.

I am impure, unfixable.
I cried, you did not cry with me.
I shut my eyes, the ostrich's philosophy.
You were still there.




iii.

My heart thrashed within my chest,
traitorous thing, determined to betray me.
I was slowly buried beneath a deluge of suffering,
it could have been a rerun, of the last time.
When it was over, I closed my eyes, clicked my heels together.




Glinda LIED






Author notes

8 poets;
50 - 100 words.
Prompt: Avalanche
87 words (not including i, ii and iii)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dunno? This is what happens when I just write what I feel >.<

A contest entry

Blah-fish - Constructive criticism is appreciated

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Cyanide Dreams
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    First vignette, this was very good, however, I think in the line break to the last line I think it should be "keeping your destructive acts concealed" it makes it flow and sound a bit better.

    "I was slowly buried beneath a deluge of suffering" - I loved that

    This was very well put together. I liked your imagery in this piece and I liked how you tied it all together with "Glinda lied" - lmfao by the way.

    Great job with this and congrats on the shiny.

    Josh


  • perfectsunset gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    See told you! lol you beat me

    congrats on the silver=]


  • Noir mariposa...x gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    You should read or listen to "Wicked" if you haven't already. Gilda is a lying bitch lol

    I actually really really like this.
    very well done, and kudos for doing a vignette in such a small amount of words!


    Thank you for entering and good luck!
    Claire x

  • perfectsunset gold member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow this was some
    very powerful poetry
    expressed here. You
    filled your write with high
    levels of emotion, and
    a plethora of imagery.

    Made for a very effective
    read, and I am glad to have
    read it.

    Great job on this prompt
    & best wishes in the contest


  • Black Narcissus gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    When it was over, I closed my eyes, clicked my heels together.
    Glinda LIED

    Classic

    Very emotional.


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Brillance!

    I should delete my entry after reading this;
    Stunning!

1 - 7 of 7