I guess you still deserve to smile
Even though it breaks my heart.
The darker side of me
Wishes you were suffering
As much as I have been.
When the sun is out I blame you
For how broken I've become,
But when I'm awake at night
Without an audience to lie to
It all falls apart
And I can see myself,
Kneeling in the debris;
Ugly, cruel,
Alone
To have laughed at your tears,
Too insecure to realize
How tightly I was clinging
To a dream that was never ours.
When you tell me about her
Or I see you walking together-
Hand in hand, like we used to do
(Does she play music on your palms, too?)-
All I can do is wave
And act happy for you
Because you're just trying to get what you deserve
And I'll never let you see
How much it still hurts
To know that you couldn't find it in me.
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