this day, love will battle for common ground
and common sense will win,
pushing this poor girl to her grim fate,
reserved for those angels that must be defeated
she started out strong, oh-so-cute with pigtails and buck-teeth,
but days grew long, brothers' grew mean,
the meals didn't cook themselves,
but the brothers did,
and then they try to take advantage,
(mommy please come home soon, that is the only remedy to this)
wicked feet abandon her chastity
and all hope is forsaken
today
Author notes
3] Kory Greenwald
Identity: The only girl in a house with seven children. Her father is deceased and her mother works two jobs.
Credit photo: "sad girl" by error
A contest entry
- Click 16. by perfectsunset.
625 points, ended June 22, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice poem!
I like the language....a simply helpless girl kind of screaming with a whisper for help.
I especially liked the 2nd stanza because you describe her in detail, "Strong...buckteeth" that's good to be so specific because I can see and make a real connection to this girl. A lot of people have experienced something like this but some haven't. A good poem makes a connection to the reader regardless of their own experiences.
"All hope is abandoned " "today"...the "today" makes it sound like this happens to her everyday but she still has hope that maybe it's just for that day. Again, maybe there is hope for tomorrow.
Good poem.
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That is a really good poem you can feel the pain and suffering the girl was going through. You are really good at writing poems, the emotions you convey in your poems is so deep and strong. Very good job.
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Wow, what a powerful write
filled with deep emotion.
I could really feel Kory's story,
that you have crafted to your
own interpretation.
Wonderfully done.
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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