Empty Walls

Too much of a blank that I didn't draw
it was left for me
blank
but it's not even white

And there's not enough white noise to take up residence and recline
in the silence
Not enough to drown out the frothing, seething monsters
that threaten my purity
my autonomy

White could drown you, I tell them, I tell them
but it's not quite white enough
not pale, not milky, not pure
It's a jaded sort of clay kind of color
dingy and unoccupied

Too much of a blank but not quite a blank slate
Nothing left to scrape off but so much to erase

I know I can scratch until the paint peels
and paint it over
but white makes it easy to see every stain
every speck
every crack

stop staring at me
blank and empty
still impure
makes NO SENSE

don't taunt me like that
I am smarter than you
because
I know how crazy it is to want to talk to

empty walls