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I wish

I love you but you don't love me!
This isn't how I wanted us to be!
You use to love me I remember it when you did.
They we're in the days that I was happy.
But you told me you don't love me.
Your only staying with me because you don't want to break my heart.
That hurts so much knowing your with me out of pity?
How weak do you think I am!
Do you think I can't hadle having my heart broken? Don't you realise what your doing now is worser then dumping me!
How can you just love me one day,and then next you don't!
I wish I understood you but you keep everything to yourself.

it was a freewrite it messy n needs fixing but critics r welcome

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • Its good. there were a few gramatical, spelling, and punctuation errors but other than that its good. It has a sort of attitude to it. I like it lol. Keep up the good write.

  • anthomoto
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    wow! it's amazing! Again wow !


  • Snowbear gold member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    It's honest. I will give you that. You see what the situation is, though it appears you have accepted that which you are hurting over.

    It's a hard thing, seeing when people change. We're left with a lot of questions that more than likely will never be answered. We just learn to accept that we will not know.

    It's obvious this poem is more about a catharsis than aesthetics so I nod to that part of the poem and hope that all turns out well for you.


  • Shelby K
    June 19
    Edit | Reply

    fantastic

    this was a fantastic write. nice flow and beautiful emotion. i know how you feel. i have been in a relationship before where i loved him with all my heart but he just didn't feel the same way about me. keep up the great work and i look forward to reading more of your work.

  • Kaiti Oh
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it..It makes perfect sense and has a nice flow of words..Plus, the way you added emotion with puncutation marks is extremely wonderful..I wouldn't change anything, but that's up to you.

1 - 5 of 5