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The Strain of Your Countenance


I love the soft strains of your countenance
surrounding glittering eyes that do not speak
betraying
streams of your threaded thoughts;
and, though they cannot be heard,
they speak to me…

they say they have experienced the same pain as I
and for that
I can linger on them, sail away in them,
pass my life in them, happily,
and quite content…

perhaps it is because
they reach out so hard
guarding a supreme vulnerability;
or that, like the earth,
I know they will never change.





Author notes

inspired by a certain pic of DeJaBlue

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Nicolette gold member
    June 25

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    Happy to see someone chose facial expressions/thoughts as theme... that which cannot speak, but oh my can speak so clearly and loudly. I think the first and last stanza were the strongest - maybe the middle stanza needs a little "something" more . But having said that, I liked the feeling this poem evoked in me, especially those closing lines. A good poem this and you get brownie points for thinking out of the box with your theme, Wayne! Thank you for your entry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Allyce May gold member
    June 24

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    Your title made me think of constipation, lmaoooo! Lord, I crack myself up sometimes. I couldn't get down to business without getting that out of the way! Moving on then.

    I really like the idea of someones eyes/facial expression betraying their thoughts. Actually, I think this applies to me. It's such a common thing and yet you structure it so the concept really strikes me. Good. There's too much speaking though. I'd replace one with something else.

    Thanks for entering


    • wbiro gold member
      June 25
      Edit | Reply

      Holy Bimbo-Brains in a Confectionary Toilet!

      lol sorry- I will allow you your unique (maybe not so!) perspective... but don't expect me to change the title to, "I Love Your Constipated Look"... lol because this strain is the strain of trying to understand a crazy world... and for some reason I like that look...

      thanks for the 'too much speaking' tip- maybe a few line spaces will break it up for the time being, for what you are after requires a frame of mind/way of writing I've been resisting for some odd reason... maybe it's my male voice, it just doesn't lend itself to light and airy... (after all, I'm bred to be the hunter... "Come here, oh sweet Mastodon, so I may skewer thee..." lol doesn't work)... unless, of course, you meant, "Just shut up and ravish me, already!" I can understand that...

      but, then again, if you really, really love something, describing it will come out light and airy... for words alone cannot describe it, and space must be left for the feelings... but then again again, I really can't write in airy opiate dreams when there is something of import to say...

      well, I must thank you for spurring an insight, at any rate... http://allpoetry.com/poem/5473243

  • janeofdreams silver member
    June 19

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    Unusual title, unusual perspective

    This poem made me think of something on your profile page--the lyrics to "If You Could Read My Mind". The title you chose is very unusual. I hardly hear anyone refer to another's face as a "countenance" anymore. It makes me wonder if there is a double meaning. "The strain" may be "the rub" in this poem. I thought again, considering strain, that you wanted to "linger on them, sail away in them, pass my life in them, happily, and quite content…" was also unusual. Then I thought, perhaps "the strain" was yours and not hers (interesting how "your" became "her", must be a female thing). If so, it would relieve your strain to do so. Then, you know what? I finally read the "Author notes", and----quack, quack said the duck---you already explained it! Now I feel like a silly goose indeed! (Or was that a duck?) Well, anyway it is still a poem with an unusual perspective.

    • wbiro gold member
      June 22

      Edit | Reply
      yes, you discovered my inspiration... thanks; and do you know what I told her, I said, "I wrote another piece to "that pic of yours"... lol and I do love writing to pics, almost as much as I like writing from word lists...

      • janeofdreams silver member
        June 23
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        A toast

        A toast to pics and word lists---with the milk of human kindness!


  • white stone
    June 15

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    Wonderful. That pic is a very telling one. Excellent ode to her, wbiro... but it will probably make her wonder how this is going to impregnate her... in her id at least...


  • DeJaBlue gold member
    June 15

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    "glittering eyes that do not speak"....beautiful, but can someone's eyes not speak a thousand words with one simple glance? A wonderfully written piece, you have done an excellent job. Thank you for sharing your poetic talents


    • wbiro gold member
      June 15
      Edit | Reply
      I think they can "spark" a thousand words in a glance...


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    June 15

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    Yes, I’d say this is quite ‘Neruda esque.’

    Nicely penned sir.

1 - 12 of 12