What's the point in sleeping if I no longer dream?
It's like traveling on a road and not owning a car
there's nothing good about it and I just stare,
Stare up at the morning stars fading night away.
What's the point in sleeping if I no longer dream?
My mind needs an escape because it's breaking down
it needs a placid place to fly in purplish skies, to hide
to hide within myself; It's the only break I ever get.
That's why while you're in dreamland you're usually resting
So what's the point in dreaming if I can't follow my heart
What's the point in sleeping without a pleasant rest?
There's nothing more to my life than sleepless nights.
I'm so preoccupied on the sound of birds chirping, but
that's how I know I've missed my chance, my destination
My Destination to dreamland is postponed and the train
is off the track I was supposed to take, so I can't think
I can't think straight without my nightly escapades in me
I find no point in resting my eyes if I can't see my whims
If I cannot sail my own treasures then I feel only shame
Dreams were taken, shattered and the night is its' remains.
Author notes
1. "'cause lately I'm not dreaming, so what's the point in sleeping? It's just that at night, I've got nowhere to hide." -- jack's mannequin (hammers and strings [a lullaby])
A contest entry
- lately, i'm not dreaming. by deadpixie020.
3500 points, ended July 15, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
first impression?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I totally feel like this all the time. I really really love the last line of the first stanza -- it's awesome. at the end of the second stanza, i'd consider changing that comma into a semi-colon to give the 'it's the only break I ever get' more power. i'd also consider rephrasing the first line of the third stanza because it's all pretty and then that line made me sort of stop reading for a second. it just wasn't as poetic as the rest, i think. i absolutely love the end though, the last stanza (especially the last two lines, they're fantastic).
good write and good luck!
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Changed it. Tell me if you like it better now.
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Wow yeah I like it a lot better now just after those few small changes
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Reminds me of a book I was reading recently about meditation. I have never had the patience to actually practice meditation, but I imagine it provides some mental escape while yet awake.
Just a thought
Keep on writing -
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Thanks, yeah I'm not into meditation, but that you for the advice. ^_^ And extra thanks again for the comment.
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I dream not in my sleep but instead when I wake
Rest I find not until I decide to take.
Young my skin but soul so old.
Here a pill for rest so easy I am sold.
Awake I am and rest is found.
But still no dreams in this sleep so sound.
very good poem. It resinates with me.
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yeah and it looks like you got a nice little poem out of it.
You should post it on your page, it's short, but well written. ^_^ Thank you for your comment.
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