Death, just another word for peace,
no more heartaches, no worries,
Death, just another word for peace,
Just another, just another word for peace!
I've come to this place,I'd rather not be.
Too much heartache living inside of me,
Every-time I turn around I see...
another black-hole surrounding me.
Standing at the foot of your grave,
I think of all the sacrifice I've made.
You must be peaceful with the death you've found,
i wish I were with you in that hallowed ground.
Death, just another word for peace,
no more heartaches, no worries,
Death, just another word for peace,
Just another, just another word for peace!
Come take me with you, unleash my grief,
leave behind all my dis-beliefs.
If ever i needed you so, it's now,
take me with you to your hallowed ground.
Help my pain disappear inside,
the hallowed ground in which you hide.
Let me see the peace you've found,
inside this sacred piece of hallowed ground.
Death, just another word for peace,
no more hearth-aches, no worries,
Death, just another word for peace,
Just another, just another word for peace!
Author notes
This is more a song than a poem...visioning standing at the foot of my 18 year old son's grave!
A contest entry
- I'm sick of crappy contests... by jmk8602.
1750 points, ended June 22, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything by piccola.
550 points, ended June 22, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Unlived Life by bookworm987.
400 points, ended June 26, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is a very powerful write, I know that the only reason I continue the struggle of making it through another day is my kids and grands. I have lived in the shadowrealms for so long I struggle to see the light of day.
May you find some form of peace, you surely deserve it.
Peace
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thank you
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Death, just another word for peace,
no more heartaches, no worries,
Death, just another word for peace,
Just another, just another word for peace!
wow. wish i could say that i feel that way, but i don't. I will always look at death with trepidation. no loss could be healed by the prospect of death.
still, your emotions and feelings have come out very well here. Good job and keep up the great work! -
I don't know whether you have suffered a real loss, or are just imagining ('visioning' as you say in your AN) what such a loss would be like and wanting to create a poem that expresses the pain of it. Good poets often write out of imagined experience.
In commenting on your poem as a poem, rather than as a personal testament, I don't mean to deny sympathy if your loss is real. It's a devastating scenario.
The most striking feature of your poem is its repetition, of lines and words. For a poem of that length, it's unusually constricted to a limited range of images and vocabulary.
I think that works very well to convey both grief and the feeling of hopelessness caused by inability to see beyond that grief.
In a paradoxical way, refraining as you have done from making every stanza say something new, is a more eloquent and appropriate way of expressing the pain.
A powerful write.
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I Pray It Is Not Real
Luv...such a thought provoking write with such a death knoll to it...You long for peace ....the vision I pray was just a vision...not real....Skillfully penned!
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Very Poignant.
Having just lost my husband last month this is very poinant for me to read as well as very beautiful. You are so right about the grave being hallowed ground. Also that they are at peace at last. Those loved ones who have gone before us are now wrapped in the loving arms of God.
Our time will come at some future date, and it is up to us to live in peace with life and whatever God has in store for us here on earth. We must be sure to live in all ways to be a credit to our Lord and those who have gone on before.
The hardest part of all is the emptiness we feel and then we must remember that they are definately in a much better place.
I wish you much luck in this contest and it is done excelently.
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So sorry for your loss friend
Your poem- song is a work of art. The truth always did set us free...mac
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no one gets out of here alive lass...
the Irish believe in the circle of life.....
death a celabration of a new begining.....
great poem.
Bless your heart
little gypsy,
Lowell Poe -
well composed, and very emotional. sorry to hear about your loss, but life is cruel at times and we have to accept whatever we are offered and live on with it.
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Really nice
well written and a really nice flow. I read it several times and like it lots.
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a most excellent write
love the repition, and the flow, the layout is perfection, the message timelss, I enjoyed this very much the closing stanza is perfection
Help my pain disappear inside,
the hallowed ground in which you hide.
Let me see the peace you've found,
inside this sacred piece of hallowed ground
well done indeed
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So tender and beautiful and fits perfectly for anyone who is suffering the grief of losing someone they love.You know of such deep sorrow and your words are all from your heart and soul. Sheila
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This is heartbreaking for all the obvious reasons...I am sorry for the loss you have suffered...
The day will come when you will truly understand the meaning of death. We are all much more than the bodies that we inhabit. There are people walking around who have been dead inside for years. All that we are and all that we experience are meant to help us live...This world is only a stepping stone in the process of living and learning...Peace is already yours...open up and let it in...
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