you twist me
like a merry-go-round
without the merriment.
my soul tucked
beneath your arm,
cuz you’re to busy
holding onto carmel apples
needles and cotton candy highs.
i try to let go
to wheel myself
into a piece of gravel,
at least then i would know
why you step on me
without notice.
instead you throw
darts across my open palms
waiting for me to give up
and say: “you win,
here’s a teddy bear for your girl.”
i hate to say it but your face
reminds me of a carny
and all his cracked pimples.
leave me alone
or i’ll find the highest peak
of a coaster, and push.
Author notes
i know it's not my best, but i'm not done packing.
prompt: carnival
peace to all ~flight
honesty
Comments
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i know you're not around to edit, and it's not like you'd take a random suggestion anyways, but:
"cuz you’re to busy" -- should be "because" and "too."
and that last stanza made me laugh. it reminds me of this guy who was in my latin class; he had crusty and fresh pimples that would pop in class without him touching them, boobs that were bigger than mine, a stomach that made him look pregnant, and a penchant for being annoying. he was gross and creepy. :[
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it's a bit cutesy for my taste but i still like it
and you used the word 'cuz' lol pretty neat-O!
and i see your not done yet so i'll come back again! keep at it!
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caramel apple?
I loved the title.
You played the circus metaphor out very well. I haven't been reading much from you recently to be able to compare, but this is most definitely good stuff.
& the feeling I get from it is unmistakable.
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