Will I ever see you again ? it's been almost a decade,
Apart from the few phone calls now and then.
Were we in love or just friends.
I still see you everywhere, in everything I do,everywhere I go.
I see you everywhere..and not only in my dreams,
I look at my books..you're there,I read Gibran..you're near.
Why can't you understand that I had to walk away, why can't I understand your need to stay away.
Why...do you refuse to look me in the eyes,and..yet through the grapevine...
You're constantly talking about me,laughing,giggling with twinkles everyone sees in your eyes.
Maybe..and just..maybe..
That's what we both need after twenty one years,
To look in each others eyes and say....goodbye.
Just one last time...to look in your beautiful eyes..
And say......
Goodbye...
I also do all this on a mobile phone,and it's difficult. I'm also not a poet.
Comments
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I sympathise....
over doing stuff over mobile. I spent a long while doing the same, and it is better than nothing, but a fiddling nuisance.
I cannot quite understand your spelling. In this, it seems pretty well perfect, yet in your profile and other poems, it is distinctly dodgy, especially odd in someone who aspires to become a writer. I suppose the mobile does not have spell-check.
Now as to the content, there seem to be a number like this swimming around in the AP sea. I mean near-obsessions, with some bloke. Sometimes, they even seem to border on stalking, tho' in this case, it seems as tho' there has not been a meeting -- or has there? The break was 21 years ago, but there was a meeting 10 years ago, and seemingly conversations which must include the writer asking to meet. Or is this just so much balderdash? I produce quite a lot of it. -
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Truce
After your dignified explanations and noble galantry,I take those harsh cruel words,arrongant and unrefined back and appologise.
The brief chat we had gives me great honour! -
Thanks..
I take it my spelling bothers you,well it bothers me too and no my phone does not have spell check.
I am grateful for your constructive criticism though I feel and detect some arrogance,forgive me if im wrong.
I have no need to explain myself to you,but I will,since you took time to visit my space and comment.
I wear glasses for sight and reading,their worse now,and I have not been able to go and deal with that yet.I also type quite fast on the phone,a lot of times I login just to correct them,but get bombarded with messages,by the time im dun,im too tired. I used to write in ENGLISH PERFECTLY,but unfortunately speaking,thinking,reading,writing in English,French and Italian on a daily basis for so many years,affected not only my spelling but also my command of the English language, which was very good.
As for balderdash,lol,if thats your style,
It's not mine,I do have a vivid very creative imagination,but what I write about in AP is the truth and nothing but the truth,naturaly because some are very personal I do withold lots of details.
As you have read my profile,you realise that I have stated that im not a poet! I enjoy writing.I also write the truth! You enjoy your balderthingmewhatevagig.
Thanks for the visit,and commys.
Shalom!
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PURE FEELINGS ON THIS PAGE
Feelings and just feelings that you put down here, and I relate to it so much. very well said and the analysis is wonderful, yeeees thumbs up babe. thanks for sharing
hugs
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Thanks sweetie
Maybe I need to take that wedding band he gave me off my finger.
I don't ...
Some say tis betta to have loved before.
I've heard another view;
"Tis because they have never truly loved before."
Life goes on,I don't think I will ever stop loving him.
Who knows...
S.
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this really pulls at the heart strings...I mean who can't have empathy for someone in this situation? Thanks for sharing...great job with this piece...peace, kp
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Thank You
Thanks for reading and your commy too.
Yes,its tortourous and painful.
S.
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i think..
personally this is excellent, what you may feel you 'lack' is actually your strength to write in such an honest, straight from the heart way, and make it pull people in is a gift my friend..you do have, just keep writing, and you will feel comfortable and settle into 'your' way of writing..this is amazing, sad..but amazing..
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Merci
Actually,there was a terrible electrical tropical storm,i love them and usualy go outside to feel the elements,enjoy the blue electric streaking and cracklin.but that was worse than brutal.i was actualy scared,and also very down.
I wrote that really,talking to myself.maybe I need to get out of poetry land,get back to my daily realities and hopefuly,get back to my research and my book.
Thanks for your time and commentry!
S.
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What a wound! This is a beautiful and expressive write!
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Mmm
Wounds heal.
Deep scars that become keloid are there forever...
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What i like is the raw emotion, the feeling of loss and the yearning for closure is captured very well. And I like the twist in the middle implying that he/she still cares (costantly talking...giggles and twinkles...) It reminds me a little of one of those (sort of) rambling French songs of Jacques Brel. Reading it I imagine stories behind the lines...Like:
'I see you everywhere...and not only in my dreams'. Yes, I get that...it is the projection of the lost beloved on anyone vaguely resembling him/her, the willing him/her to be there. Been there!!
Now I'm rambling.
I guess if I had written this, I would strive to be more concise and for a more consistent rhythm. I would try to pare it down to the essential ideas and images...for example I'm not sure that the reference to Gibran adds anything (though I am not familiar with it, or its relevance here and could be wrong)...
I like the repetive references to his/her eyes, perhaps that could be referred to earlier, to help tie the poem together.
I hope this helps, I do like what you have started here, it has resonance and I think many will relate to what you say.
Michael
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Thanks.
I appreciate your help.hmm,Gibran is a very personal thing between the two of us,if i had done this properly,it would have to be an epic..prose.which would be too revealing and also too painful.
I may try to revise this.i was just really writing my tears down on paper. I'm not a poet,and I know nothing about poetry.
Thank you very much!
S. -
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It is obviously a very personal piece. In pain, I have found writing, any writing helps to make sense of things...for me what is special about my poetry is that it is more controlled, more structured and the structure both lends a beauty to the writing and makes the painful into something positive.
Faderman is right, you have to live on. But you ARE a poet, poets write what they call poetry. It is not how I would write, but I am not you. What you have written is raw emotion which rises from the page. Poetry as much as a sonnet or a ballad.
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You cannot live in the past. A lesson I myself have learned. Otherwise you will never move forward with your life. You have to move on and build a life of your own that will make you happy. Its hard but it can be done! I'm doing that myself. A heartfelt poem indeed!
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I know..
Yes..you are right. This was no ordinary love!!
People around the world are still SHOCKED & STUPEFIED at the breakup.
I know you're right.
Thank you for your support,your kind wise words,your commys. I sincerely appreciate them!
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I hope I didn't sound preachy there!
I just felt the pain and could relate to it very well. Its tough I know. The pleaure was all mine when it comes to visiting and reading your words.
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Smiles....
I'm learning in my older age to be more tactful.
I'm a true blue bohemian,versatile sagittarian babe,blunt as can be,have hurt many in the past unintentionaly.
I hate lieing and being lied to with a passion.unfortunately,im a highly sensitive,over emotional daring very passionate truth seeker.
I prefer to be told the truth even if it hurts.
I have so much respect and admiration for people who do that in sincerity.
They have dignity and decency!
Thankyou, i appreciate your time and everything.
Your AP friend.
S.
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ahh gibram what a philosopher ageless work and this is such a yearning to be free of the torment of a love once so devine lovely indeed xo peaceof love to you dear gal
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Hmmm..yup
Gibran is amazing!
Thank you.
S....
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