An angle white
Turns crimson red
A deathly sight
That's not to be said
Empty inside
A black hole that grows
"Forever I cant hide"
The black red scars shows
Secrets locked away
Under a deep thoughtful mind
"Pshycho, maybe i was meant to stray?
for i am not special nor kind"
New beginning
Turns into old hell
Memories upbringing
Onto the floor i fell
The smile was faked
The coffin was cold
Over the damp soil, leaves were raked
And underground, the beautiful black coffin, turned into mold..
Author notes
wrote this after i cut
strange mind this ugly little girl has.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Amazing Write.
This was an amazing piece! You did an incredible job capturing all the emotions. It revived long forgotten emotions in my own dead heart. As for constructive criticism, this is perfectly penned. Nothing should be changed. Brava.
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damn
that was cool, in a strangly emo way! good job! i liked it a lot, I write a lot of my poems after I cut too, so I know how you feel!
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The last verse was definitely my favourite. I don't have any criticism at all for this poem, except "psycho" was spelled wrong. The imagery is beautifully painted by your words.
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haha, an i tell you a sectret! i hafno idea how to spell pshycho haha, lol, anyhow fankl yew, im glad yew liked it.
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Wow. Epic. I thought that was fantastic. For criticism, all I can say is you are missing a comma between black and red. Other than that, bravo.
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thank you, and huh? waddah yew mean bowt deh critisism. haha
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Doesn't it say leave constructive criticism?
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noob man! i get that! silly im nawwt that stupid, tehehe, i meant where??
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black red scars. black, red scars
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awesomely concerning?
this write actually worries me dude, i mean im worried enuff ur cuttin!, but this piece definitley has elements of death/suicide in it, and that scares me!, from outsider who loves poetrys point of view, i love this!, but from a friends point of view ...its concerning...:-(
o and "this ugly little girl has", I'll pretend i never READ THAT!!!!.... -
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suicide..intresting. except you did read it. and i am ugly. i sent apic, i got deleted. a surfer said hi today, he wanted to know my friends name. im not pweti, nor beautiful, nor will i ever be. ive accepted that. as for suicide wait and see you never know, my ill join my dog.
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dude who told you, your not beautiful, or pretty?...please tell me, i bet no one, the only person saying that to you, is yourself. so stop lying to yourself.
dont join ur dog dude!, he's in puppy world now! i dnt want you in puppy world i want you in human world! :-)
and hey maybe that surfer dude askin 4 ur frendz name was jus an excuse to speak to you ey!...if not..so wht, so he's nor 4 u, the right guy will come 4 u. just make sure in the process your lying to yourself that your not worth anyone, you dont actually end up believing it. cause then...when he tells you, and shows you ARE you'll think HE'S lying, and push him away..
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Wow. I love it. It's deep :]
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thank you, the teacher thought it was cheery! retard
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