I jump up and down
as I look out the window
waiting and waiting
while I look down below
the mailbox is there
with nothing inside
I need you my mail
letters is what you provide
Letters that I want
from all my great friends
as soon as I get theirs
another I will send
Thats why I'm sitting here
jumping up and down
waiting and waiting
and walking around
I big cars up ahead
is it the mail?
No I cry
but I will prevail
I will not leave
I really must stay
for I need to get
the mail today
A couple of hours later
still no sign
but I must wait
(at least till nine)
I had to skip dinner
even my homework
my brother even said
I might have gone beserk
Now its nine o'clock
But I really must wait
Now its eleven
and I can barely stay awake
why isn't the mail here?
as I look around in dismay
thats when I realized
it's sunday
Author notes
I love the mail!!! (and no I'm not this stupid)
Written March 18th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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lol, I love the twist at the end. What a cute poem. Just one thing, did you mean I SEE big cars up ahead? Anyways, I like it..very funny
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lol this was so funny liked how it had a great flow and the background is cute great write really keep it up
~angelwanabee24~ -
This is hilarious1 I love it. Great work!
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LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
I needed a good laugh taday!!!!!!!!!!
LOL Thanks for sharing
Stay cool
~ Little Poet14 ~
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Love the new background!
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ahh lol omg this kept me waiting till the end i loved this!!!!!!! it was amazing, i love the mail too omg i wouldnt have guessed ha ha im laughing
XxN -
I`ve gone through that. xD Hehe, good write.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAH.....i've done that--got all worried about the mail only to realise it was Sunday. only i got you beat..after that, i tried to go to the bank, forgetting that it was STILL sunday. yeah, that day was a special day for me. this is really great, i love it alot! thanks for your comment on my "toad" haiku. any comments i get mean alot to me!
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OH my gosh! I do loe the mail too only I would be stupid enough to do something like that. I trip over air, forget that it's friday all the time and miss-spell my name at least twice a day. But I'm in all advanced classes and was one point from a perfect score on the sat-9 vocab tests.
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this reminds me of when my husband was in boot camp. our only contact was letters ansd i waited for the mail every day.. yes sometimes even sundays too
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Ooooo
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I enjoyed this one, although it struck me as a little long.
Firstly, you maintained the present tense well throughout but suddenly jumped into past tense with 'that's when I realised
If you drop the 'd' at the end of realised, that cures that one!
In the first verse, being a grizzled oldster, my preference is for 'whilst' rather than while.
'Letters is what you provide' hhmmm
Letters are plural so would 'are' serve better here?
How about something deeper (as you repeat letters in the very next verse). Consider 'friendship' or 'contact' or something simliar.
Thus 'Friendship is what you provide'
'I might have gone beserk'
That is also past tense (now I come to think of it)
Would he say that?
he would likely leave out the 'might'.
Lots to ponder lol
Perhaps that's too much trouble to go to?
A nice poem though. Just being fussy
Thanx
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Oh my gosh! Hehehe... Funny! I know how much you love the mail, and this was really cute! Only one thing "I big cars up ahead". It's supposed to have "see" in it, right? Other than that, CUTE, and funny!
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