Trauma glistening
on window panes of my soul
horrors streaming down.
Author notes
This has been revised by Amera for me.
Lol,she says this is Senryu,
Purrsanthema comments on others and thats Alliteration.
These guys are gonna make me look 4 magic shrooms next.lol.
Thanks!
Hugs.
I wear glasses for both sight and reading,12hours a day researching for my book,blogin,etc,I do on my little mobile phone,and make lots of typo's that I don't notice sometimes. I'm also not a poet,but enjoy poetry.
Comments
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Beautiful pain
Just so touching. I shall assume that collaborators just kept spelling in order, as I want to believe that! But how much can you invest in pain?
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L.O.L
The beautiful Amera who revised this piece for me is a master poet,with a great sense of humour.
She is also humble,refined and has dignity.
I suggest you read her works.
You may learn a thing or two from them,and I'm not refering to poetry.
Thanks for reading,your time and unrefined arrogant commy.
Enjoy your day,coz I intend to enjoy mine.
Shalom! -
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Whispers a sorry..
And I can't blame it on pms.
Must be all the trauma im dealing with,not knowing how to cope.
You are right,easier said than done. Im not trying to invest in pain..
Oh never mind.
Thanks again.
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My...emotions fill this senryu....every line is filled with vivid images! I notice Amera has helped you and I know her as my apniece...You have a great friend if you have her....Do keep penning, luv...
...you have talent!
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Thankyou..
Yes,it was very kind of her to help and explain and I do appreciate her encouragement,time and commys,which I extend to you with sincere gratitude.
S.
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Hummz.. Nice one
I don't have much experience in Haiku
but i felt its alot better
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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Me neither
I don't know a thing about poetry.
I just love reading poetry that my soul feels,just like with music paintingr,etc.
For example,i appreciate that the technique da vinci used with the 'Mona Lisa',till this day is unkown,or so they say.
I've seen more captivating smiles than that.
That painting may have other meanings,but its never captivated ever. I dont see anyything thats so facinating about it. But that's me.
Thanks for your tym and commy.
S.
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I guess your being chattered at by all of us poets! You're a poet/ You just don't know it. lol!
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Lol
Sweetie,i am no poet,and i know it!
You better all buy plane tickets so we can meet in the forests round Glastonbry,a old friend,brilliant graphic artist nd computer wiz,swears by the shrooms in there.lol.
Gosh,ill be speaking in stanzas,singing sonnets and sailing down haiku waves.
Hehe,you lot are hilarious,but wundrful!
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You truly have the heart of a poet.
You say here that you plan to revise this poem. What do you think of making it a Senryu? A Senryu is like a Haiku but it deals with human nature and not nature. It’s a Japanese form and the structure is the same as a Haiku. 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. So your poem may look something like this:
trauma glistening
on window panes of my soul
horrors streaming down
Please don’t be offended; just my opinion.
Love,
Amera
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GOSH
Offended,how on earth could I be offended when a master poet spends precious time to read my ranting and raving,comment and help. I am in awe and grateful.
I must extend that to david wright,Purrsanthema,Gypsy via orleans,glenn shannon who just trys to make me laugh.Swangrnv who comments only if he thinks the piece is worthy of a commy.Nermin Nazim who inspires me.faderman1959,Angel whispers,moonsail who all read and comment and encourage me.
Thankyou very much!
Love S.....
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I could feel this one! Such vulnerability. Words from the soul!
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Thanks
Thankyou.
Hope you're well
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it shows muse was in your boxes in the studio just waiting to be unpacked sad but great
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Lol
Glad you did,
Personaly,I most probably will deleate this.
But thank you.
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I liked this. It seems kind of sad. Once the pictures mark your soul you never know when or where they'll start pouring out. I find pen and paper a good place to let them scrape the glaze off my panes. Hopefully one day it'll make the glass clear. I enjoyed this read.
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Thanks
I Tthank you for your beautiful kind words and inspiration.
S.
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