She dons her long white dress -
modestly twirls her golden locks tight-
clipped, veiled and hidden from view.
White tights, second hand shoes
a size too big. She hums a little tune
and clears her mind of errant thoughts.
Sunday is dress-up day for Mary and Jesus.
Piled in the van, Dad in his white shirt, resigned.
Brothy squirms, his tie and mind a jumble;
Sissy cute in pink to her wiggling ankles,
an unwilling, vocal passenger at 4.
Mama wears her proper homemade fare;
"Cover yourself as God has spoken."
Off to worship with their Christian clan.
Those unforgiving pews, what mortal bane
to all who question Religion's alluring tomes.
Yet, to this child obedient and searching,
the church pew is her ark to salvation and grace.
She leans into the hard rigging; the droning crowd
becomes the song of the chosen beasts a sail.
Surety quells her childish urges,
while, at home...... I pray.
Author notes
Church Pew
A contest entry
- Freedom Rounds by Writing0Freedom.
400 points, ended June 22, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
wow
this you wrote as a church critic or a firm believer in that some things need to be moderated...you got this out so beautifully that I was kind of stunned..well done... I liked this a lot.Thanks for sharing.I am adding you as my favorite.and do visit and comment me . -
A very personal tone here...Imagery is so vivid. I am so glad that I have dropped in...
-
Damn
And visions of my Catholic upbring force me to cringe. Faith can be glorious and never denied. But the servitude and demise of life has crushed this lonely heart. Excellent contrition.
-
title 5/5
relation to prompt 8/8
spelling\grammar 5/5
personal oppinion13 /20
rythmn 8/12
imagery 13/20
emotion 6/10 * somewhat lacking here, but well written
Diction 8/10
Originality 10/10
I liked this, it was dark and here was a lot of imagery, and your title is just stunning. I would have liked to see more figurative language however this is a very well written piece.
I would like to have you in my next round for sure.
Thanks for Entering, and following all my rules!
WRitingFree -
What struck me here was the imagery, very beautiful and vivid. I like the flow of your piece too. Wonderful writing here.
Dark Wishes
Wayne Leon
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
