In the evening
when the sun goes down
giving the grass and leaves
a yellow hue
I'll climb up
into the biggest tree
adding my shadow
to the coming night
and my smile
to the warmth
of the fading light
crickets
announcing the coming
of the glimmering
stars
and I wish
you were sitting
on the other branch
feeling across the bark
for my hand
Author notes
Being outdoors means a lot to me, I find I am happiest when out in nature. Its the perfect setting when I am out there with someone special.
A contest entry
- beauty, decending by frozenblackpetals.
2500 points, ended July 23, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!! BRING 'EM ON IN!!! by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
550 points, ended June 27, 113 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Summertime - A Poetic Bandits Member only contest by Lady Altheia.
700 points, ended July 10, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes ~ A Going Away Contest by SizzyFid.
2200 points, ended August 12, 114 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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great flow, sweet imagery....overall- beautifully done.
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Oh, WOW A sweet poem!
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Just Lovely
It's sweet and enchanting.
I just love the imagery, especially how the vision seems so clear.
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BANDITS UNITED!!!!
*Sigh* The lovliness of your beautifully penned write, Just astounds me. Such beautiful imagery. I loved the thought and rich words you used! Beautiful!
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Bandits United!
I love the way that you painted a picture into my mind and how simple yet profound your poem was. I also liked the romance because of the added significance. Cheers
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Bandits United!
I liked the simplicity of this poem and the way you expressed your love for nature by creating vivid images and painting the scene. The romantic ending finishes the poem perfectly as you suggest this is a moment in time that should be shared. An inspirational poem.
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Bandits United
Aww this is so cute and adorable. I am glad that I read this piece this morning cause it really lifted my spirits. I love being outside as well. Just a beautiful piece. Thanks for sharing.
Always write from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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BANDITS UNITED!
These is a wonderful poem that describes the beauty of the world around you. It makes you want to go outside and climb the nearest tree to get acloser view of the night sky.
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BANDITS UNITED
This makes a person want to go outside and comune with nature. See all the beauty God has placed for us to enjoy...mac
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BANDITS UNITED!!
What a wonderful expression of appreciating the beauty of Nature and sharing such precious times with another. To ponder the world of Nature around us, the beauty and complexity it is humbling and it soothes the troubled heart and mind from the stressful daily duties and routines. Your closing remarks about making a connection with another, sharing the Nature experience really touched my heart. Write on dear poet!
You have been Spotlighted today by your Poetic Bandit Family because WE CARE!
Brother Dennis
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Bandits United!
I loved the scene you created, it was quite unique, but I could see myself in it, which was very important to the theme, so that was incredibly beautiful.
I wasn't sure whether it was a love poem, or a longing poem, but weither was beautiful. It could be someone wanting a childhood sweetheart, wanting to go further, or someone at an old place wishing someone special was back with them, like they were. The last few lines put stories flying around my head, and that is what I adore about poetry.
This is beautiful, I saw and felt everything in a few words
Well done and good luck in the contests!
~Lauren
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Bandits United!
What an originally delightful poem! Such a scene, uniquely worded and in form! If flows beautifully...So deserving of a trophy...
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Bandits United!
~sigh~ nature is quite beautiful from your ink
Delightfully gorgeous - the line of 'a yellow hue' is incredibly visual and unique for my eyes to enjoy
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Bandits United
Awww, the thoughts you've penned here are beautiful.
Nature sure does a lot to the mind and the picture you've given here is something that's really precious, more so because it includes thoughts about someone special
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Bandits United!
This is so beautiful perhaps because I am like you, I need to be able to touch, feel and see nature too. I loved the perfect images you created. Well done best to you hun
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Bandits United!
What a delightful poem! It is filled with wonderful imagery. Very well done, and a much enjoyable read...
Love & Light
Debbera
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BANDITS UNITED!!
a beautifully descriptive write. so filled with vivid imagery the rhythm is good. a sweet calM PLACE TO BE. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR TALENT HERE . keep writing poet! God bless you always
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Bandits United
I enjoyed the beautiful picture you painted and the wistful ending to this poem. Being one with nature can be so peaceful and the perfect place to connect with one you love. Good lick in your contests. Peace, Liz
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BANDITS UNITED
You have some great imagery in this poem. I could picture the hole sceen in my minds eye. It kinda remids me of what a cave man and womans romantic evening would be like. I enjoyed reading this poem. Keep penning.
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Bandits United!
This brought a smile to my face. It was very sweet and well written. I can tell that you love nature just as I do. Enjoy the spotlight because you earned it! Furthermore, I sincerely hope you do well in the bandit contest.
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Bandits United!!
Wow what a Journey You have shared with us
Wish I could be sitting in that tree and seeing-hearing
Your surroundings but since You describe
it so Beautifully-
I feel as if there
Bravo!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent
Best wishes in the contest
with love & light~ Desire~*~
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Bandits United
This is a lovely little write about nature. I can tell by the way that this was written that you do enjoy nature. Thanks for sharing this with us. -
I loved the way this ended. How sweet, and kind of sad. I think this had a bit too many line seperations throwing off the flow a bit, but I liked this. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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good
Ummm... not exactly what I am looking for but a good read all the same. Thank you so much for entering and if you get a chance enter another poem please because I love your style. Good luck in your other contests. -
aww this was a really good poem! i loved it! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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what i love about your poetry is that it is so honest and real. you don't grab for extraneous phrases or emotions. and you make it beautiful. those lines few lines.... sigh.... so much love present
-Cassidy
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i really really really liked the last bit. about the hand feeling across the bark. that created a nice feeling/image for me. Really sweet, i like the outdoors also.
thanks for entering!!!
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