Anger

My therapist said,
Let it out.
Well, I said,
you'll be reading for
quite a while.
And I started.

The first thing thats
been on my mind:
My father.
He hurt me.
I think you can guess how.
He hurt me for 9 years.
9 years.
I finally told and
what did my family do?
They forgot me.
They shunned me.
They believed what he said
and they crossed theirselves
away from my evil.
Now he talks to me sometimes
and asks me how i'm doing.
Well, mister, you have no idea.
You lost your job.
But the most important thing
in life... you still have and I lost.
Family.

Secondly:
The school.
Belonging.
Im starting school again.
The same one as before.
But these children
these people.
They know what happened that
day when the ambulance came.
I overdosed. I tried to die.
At school.
I thought it would be best.
They'd feel sorry for
what they said about me.
But it didn't work and
I had to go to a residential
rehabilitation.
Finally im out.
In a foster family.
Again.
Lots of rules, but I am
a good rule follower. Or at least,
I don't get caught breaking them.
Now i'm scared to be back in this school.
What will they say?
I don't belong.
Im different.
Im the outsider.
Im a foster child.

Third:
Foster care.
Makes me seem unworthy of
being a child.
I feel like a hostage.
Cleaning, sleeping,
tv.
Ugh.
Thats all.
For today.

And what has this all gotten me?
Anger.