I stood upon the ship,
looking out into the sea,
I leaned a top the rail,
the water seemed so close to me,
this new life seemed so scarey,
on the other side,
what would become of who I am,
no one really knows,
will I fail,
or become a gem,
will I find my way back home,
I want to just stay on the ship,
and feel the cool, sea breeze,
not worry about lifes problems,
but enjoy the clear night skies,
just break off all my ties,
and bob and float away,
instead I think I might just stay on this ship,
forever and day
Author notes
I don't know if I liked this I might have to change it again later, but I just wanted to edit the poem I did have there that didn't fit.. this one ends too quickly I think.. hmmmm..
Written March 18th, 2004
A contest entry
- Contest for new March members ~Come Sail Away~ by Barbara.
300 points, ended April 3, 2004, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You are the only one I have put somthing on a poem the reason is casue I enjoyed this and I saw what you put it well to me was fine and did not end fast I dont know if you had messed around with it before I got to this if you did then this was good lots of love Robin...aka SH
Edited on Apr 02, 7:38 p.m. because ''. -
This is a lovely poem - too bad it's a pre-written one but enjoyable none the less.
Welcome to AP and hopefully you can enter a new poem for the contest.
~Von~ -
Hi.. your right, I'm really, really sorry about that, I switched poems so this one fits a little better with the contest, although if I can get some free between work and school, I'll go back and edit it, because I don't know if I really like it quite yet, I think it needs some work, but just wanted to change it so I didn't have a poem that didn't fit in there anymore.. sorry again, and thanks for the nice comment
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This begins beautifully, but in the third line there needs to be their. I like how this progressed and the ending left me feeling serene. Doesn't really fit with the contest criteria, but it is a good poem and I enjoyed reading. welcome to the site!
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very nice..but sadly doesn't fit the criteria for this contest...hugs..leanne xx
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This is a nice light poem, beautifully written and crafted, but I can't really tell how this fits the contest criteria. (This is also a prewrite, already posted on your page as "Fairy Dreams") You have lots of time to enter another poem, or change this one to fit the contest
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